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What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 642218" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>My father died in the summer of 2011. I've been trying to find my post about it. I am so grateful to the folks that commented, especially the ones with a narcissistic parent. Their behaviors can be so damaging and confusing. MWM, I found that I was flooded with memories 99.9999% of them were bad! I had one or two positive recollections of my father. Sad.</p><p></p><p>My father did things that were outrageous, for example, when my mom had lung cancer, he would smoke in the bedroom right next to her while she was sleeping. Yet, if you called him on his bad behavior (s) he NEVER would admit that he did anything even slightly/remotely wrong and he particularly would NOT acknowledge ever if you said you were upset by something. He would immediately dismiss any comment you made along these lines.</p><p></p><p>My father was very smart and he did something that is classic among intelligent narcissists...he had a few friends that he was nice to so that he would have "evidence" of being a good person. But, these friends when he died, told me that there was weird evidence sort of unravelling of a terrible person buried underneath. For example, his girlfriend disagreed with him about something and he tried to strangle her. (Yet she stayed with him...they truly prefer partners who are co-dependent and have trouble picking up cues of deviant behaviors)</p><p></p><p>Oh, I think (but am not sure) that deep down inside my father knew something was wrong with him. He certainly had heard more than once that he needed therapy. But, that only fueled his narcissistic fire and he seemed worse. Like it's more comfortable to stick with the routine of thinking they are smarter than everyone and using people confirms their superiority or something.</p><p></p><p>They have NO, zero, nada empathy and I agree this makes them selfish to the point of dangerous...a great way of putting it.</p><p></p><p>I too stay AWAY from such people.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 642218, member: 4152"] My father died in the summer of 2011. I've been trying to find my post about it. I am so grateful to the folks that commented, especially the ones with a narcissistic parent. Their behaviors can be so damaging and confusing. MWM, I found that I was flooded with memories 99.9999% of them were bad! I had one or two positive recollections of my father. Sad. My father did things that were outrageous, for example, when my mom had lung cancer, he would smoke in the bedroom right next to her while she was sleeping. Yet, if you called him on his bad behavior (s) he NEVER would admit that he did anything even slightly/remotely wrong and he particularly would NOT acknowledge ever if you said you were upset by something. He would immediately dismiss any comment you made along these lines. My father was very smart and he did something that is classic among intelligent narcissists...he had a few friends that he was nice to so that he would have "evidence" of being a good person. But, these friends when he died, told me that there was weird evidence sort of unravelling of a terrible person buried underneath. For example, his girlfriend disagreed with him about something and he tried to strangle her. (Yet she stayed with him...they truly prefer partners who are co-dependent and have trouble picking up cues of deviant behaviors) Oh, I think (but am not sure) that deep down inside my father knew something was wrong with him. He certainly had heard more than once that he needed therapy. But, that only fueled his narcissistic fire and he seemed worse. Like it's more comfortable to stick with the routine of thinking they are smarter than everyone and using people confirms their superiority or something. They have NO, zero, nada empathy and I agree this makes them selfish to the point of dangerous...a great way of putting it. I too stay AWAY from such people. [/QUOTE]
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What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
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