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What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 642221" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Nomad, you got it nailed.</p><p></p><p>My father had a few friends, but very few. Mostly, after my borderline mom finally divorced him, and there was blame on both sides, he found a very rich Jewish woman (remember, the Jewish was important to him in the eyes of his own family and his one or two friends). She had received millions in her divorce from her wealthy first husband, but also had money in her own right so he latched onto her like a leech. Yes, as a pharmacist, he made a decent salary, but nothing like the millions SHE had. And she let him live in her mansion and stayed with him because she wanted a man and she was not very attractive. She was a bright, intelligent woman, but definitely codependent.</p><p></p><p>The things she put up with are unbelievable, like the way he talked about handicapped people when she had a daughter who was so crippled she needed somebody to change her diapers. Sad thing it was. She had been healthy and got sick in college seemingly overnight. Her brain was very sharp yet she had to live with people changing her diapers at age nineteen. Every time her mother went to help her, my father would call US to scream and yell about "her conniving daughter who wanted her mother all the time." He said those things to her too and she let him. Not that she didn't argue back, but she stayed with him even though he called her daughter all those horrible things he called us. And said the absurd such as, "Your daughter could do more if she wanted to."</p><p></p><p>After she died, my father was furious that he was not left anything in her will and that her son, who lived in California and was barely in her life, swooped in to take all the goodies. Of course, he had a legal right to them and my father did not. This was a big deal to him for quite some time. Yet, at the same time as he badmouthed her son, he talked about how much he had loved her and how saintly she was. Funny, when she was alive, he used to rant and yell at us about how she spent too much time with her daughter and was fat. Never appreciated her "sainthood" while she was alive.</p><p></p><p>He was 70 when she died and he certainly did NOT stop dating. He dated A LOT. And he dated (gasp) non-Jewish women. When called in on it he just said, "At my age it doesn't matter anymore." Really? Okay. Makes sense to me...not. Especially with how crazed this issue made him. He was sure that my sister and I did not have a million bucks because we married non-Jewish men, although he was nice to all of them to their faces and probably liked them, especially my first husband who would listen to him talk about himself non-stop. At any rate, it always amazed me that my father got the women. He did look good for an older man and still looks very young for his 90 years...lol...but I'd rather be alone forever than put up with his abuse. Only one woman I know of was shocked by his behavior. She knew my sister before she met my dad and spoke to her about my dad and said, "Once he got angry and I was flabbergasted. His language was something I had never heard before, not from anyone." Yet she'd wanted to marry him.</p><p></p><p>It would not surprise me if at one time or another my father had tried to strangle one of the women in his life. He was more of a verbal abuser, but at times his eyes would change and he'd look murderous, although he didn't hit us kids...but he LOOKED like so angry and would be so explosive. I would believe he lost it on somebody. He did shove one woman in public blaming her for his losing his coat.</p><p></p><p>Scary thing for me was that my mother was just as abusive to me in her own way.</p><p></p><p>It really is no wonder that my bro and sis needed a scapegoat and that we never really got along. We were survivors, not siblings and we clashed on how bad our childhood was, with me thinking it was far worse than they do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 642221, member: 1550"] Nomad, you got it nailed. My father had a few friends, but very few. Mostly, after my borderline mom finally divorced him, and there was blame on both sides, he found a very rich Jewish woman (remember, the Jewish was important to him in the eyes of his own family and his one or two friends). She had received millions in her divorce from her wealthy first husband, but also had money in her own right so he latched onto her like a leech. Yes, as a pharmacist, he made a decent salary, but nothing like the millions SHE had. And she let him live in her mansion and stayed with him because she wanted a man and she was not very attractive. She was a bright, intelligent woman, but definitely codependent. The things she put up with are unbelievable, like the way he talked about handicapped people when she had a daughter who was so crippled she needed somebody to change her diapers. Sad thing it was. She had been healthy and got sick in college seemingly overnight. Her brain was very sharp yet she had to live with people changing her diapers at age nineteen. Every time her mother went to help her, my father would call US to scream and yell about "her conniving daughter who wanted her mother all the time." He said those things to her too and she let him. Not that she didn't argue back, but she stayed with him even though he called her daughter all those horrible things he called us. And said the absurd such as, "Your daughter could do more if she wanted to." After she died, my father was furious that he was not left anything in her will and that her son, who lived in California and was barely in her life, swooped in to take all the goodies. Of course, he had a legal right to them and my father did not. This was a big deal to him for quite some time. Yet, at the same time as he badmouthed her son, he talked about how much he had loved her and how saintly she was. Funny, when she was alive, he used to rant and yell at us about how she spent too much time with her daughter and was fat. Never appreciated her "sainthood" while she was alive. He was 70 when she died and he certainly did NOT stop dating. He dated A LOT. And he dated (gasp) non-Jewish women. When called in on it he just said, "At my age it doesn't matter anymore." Really? Okay. Makes sense to me...not. Especially with how crazed this issue made him. He was sure that my sister and I did not have a million bucks because we married non-Jewish men, although he was nice to all of them to their faces and probably liked them, especially my first husband who would listen to him talk about himself non-stop. At any rate, it always amazed me that my father got the women. He did look good for an older man and still looks very young for his 90 years...lol...but I'd rather be alone forever than put up with his abuse. Only one woman I know of was shocked by his behavior. She knew my sister before she met my dad and spoke to her about my dad and said, "Once he got angry and I was flabbergasted. His language was something I had never heard before, not from anyone." Yet she'd wanted to marry him. It would not surprise me if at one time or another my father had tried to strangle one of the women in his life. He was more of a verbal abuser, but at times his eyes would change and he'd look murderous, although he didn't hit us kids...but he LOOKED like so angry and would be so explosive. I would believe he lost it on somebody. He did shove one woman in public blaming her for his losing his coat. Scary thing for me was that my mother was just as abusive to me in her own way. It really is no wonder that my bro and sis needed a scapegoat and that we never really got along. We were survivors, not siblings and we clashed on how bad our childhood was, with me thinking it was far worse than they do. [/QUOTE]
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