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The Watercooler
What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 642401" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I'm going to look for that book too.</p><p></p><p>MWM...spoke about how she was sure her dad at some point likely wished her harm. OMG..that hit home.</p><p></p><p>When my father was dying, I told him I was sorry he was so ill and in a way, I meant it. It is horrible to see anyone terminally ill. Dying is very often gruesome. Ideally, I think we would all like to go peacefully and quickly in our sleep. But, my father had three months or so of steady deterioration and perhaps since he had no spiritual beliefs to hold to, no close family and no true friends, this death was absolutely horrid. And he was very slow to come to grips with it (also a narcissistic trait) , so I think he was constantly shocked by his worsening health. Anyway, I wouldn't wish a slow, painful, lonely death on anyone. So, I did try to help when and where I could. I didn't go overboard, but helped here and there. He didn't believe me when I said that I was sorry he was so sick and he got mean and nasty. Hard to fully explain, but I sensed this weird projection emanating from him at that moment. As if he was saying "well, I've wished you would die all these years." It was profoundly disturbing and creepy. He moved 1.5 hours away from me when my mother died and reinvented himself. Poor man, with the deceased wife and mean daughter. I was the only evidence of his tremendous lies. He may very well have wanted me "gone." Hard to conceive that any father would wish this on his daughter. I spent my entire youth trying to please him...straight a's in school, etc.</p><p></p><p>But there is no pleasing them. Just a lot of use, abuse and what have you done for ME lately! An IMPOSSIBLE , very sad, horror.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 642401, member: 4152"] I'm going to look for that book too. MWM...spoke about how she was sure her dad at some point likely wished her harm. OMG..that hit home. When my father was dying, I told him I was sorry he was so ill and in a way, I meant it. It is horrible to see anyone terminally ill. Dying is very often gruesome. Ideally, I think we would all like to go peacefully and quickly in our sleep. But, my father had three months or so of steady deterioration and perhaps since he had no spiritual beliefs to hold to, no close family and no true friends, this death was absolutely horrid. And he was very slow to come to grips with it (also a narcissistic trait) , so I think he was constantly shocked by his worsening health. Anyway, I wouldn't wish a slow, painful, lonely death on anyone. So, I did try to help when and where I could. I didn't go overboard, but helped here and there. He didn't believe me when I said that I was sorry he was so sick and he got mean and nasty. Hard to fully explain, but I sensed this weird projection emanating from him at that moment. As if he was saying "well, I've wished you would die all these years." It was profoundly disturbing and creepy. He moved 1.5 hours away from me when my mother died and reinvented himself. Poor man, with the deceased wife and mean daughter. I was the only evidence of his tremendous lies. He may very well have wanted me "gone." Hard to conceive that any father would wish this on his daughter. I spent my entire youth trying to please him...straight a's in school, etc. But there is no pleasing them. Just a lot of use, abuse and what have you done for ME lately! An IMPOSSIBLE , very sad, horror. [/QUOTE]
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What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
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