Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 642518" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It does feel wrong, Cedar. We are raised to love our family. I do not tell anyone off of this forum how I really feel about them. My kids know what happened, but I didn't tell them how I felt about it all.</p><p></p><p>My father has put all the funeral plans and executing of his will into my brother's hands. Both my mother and father seem to believe he is absolutely the only person on earth who can do things right because of his enormous brain. He heard a lot less abuse than my sister and me. He was treated better by far. My sister sort of caught up with Mom by offereing to pay her to babysit her twins and to also buy her health insurance. I do not know how she and her husband could have afforded Mom's fee (it could not have been low...she would have demanded a living wage) plus afford her insurance. I don't know that part of the story. My sister was not rich. However, my mother did bond with her twins while caring for them and that made it better for her and Sis.</p><p></p><p>I can't even imagine wanting my mother to babysit for my kids for an hour. Not that she would have, but still.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow, back to the funeral. I am torn about it. My father wants a full blown Jewish ceremony in which everyone sits shiva for seven days. I am not that familiar with Jewish funerals, but I know they are long and drawn out and that isn't going to happen with me. If I go at all, and if Bro planned somewhere for all to sit shiva, I am leaving right after the ceremony. It is just like my dad, being a narcissist, to want a big, elaborate ceremony after his passing. And my brotehr does exactly what is asked of him so it will happen.</p><p></p><p>But, if I go at all, I go, it's over, I'm done, I can always visit in private. I don't believe that any rituals of any religion have validity so my being there would be a farce. I do believe in a higher power...very strongly...but I don't think He or She expects us to do these rituals. Also I don't need to see a ton of relatives that I was never allowed to know (long story there...has to do with my mom and my dad's fear of her). So he's got this huge family and they will all show up and I won't know them and most certainly won't be in the mood to socialize. On my best day, I am not comfortable with people I don't 'know and that won't be my best day. if I go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 642518, member: 1550"] It does feel wrong, Cedar. We are raised to love our family. I do not tell anyone off of this forum how I really feel about them. My kids know what happened, but I didn't tell them how I felt about it all. My father has put all the funeral plans and executing of his will into my brother's hands. Both my mother and father seem to believe he is absolutely the only person on earth who can do things right because of his enormous brain. He heard a lot less abuse than my sister and me. He was treated better by far. My sister sort of caught up with Mom by offereing to pay her to babysit her twins and to also buy her health insurance. I do not know how she and her husband could have afforded Mom's fee (it could not have been low...she would have demanded a living wage) plus afford her insurance. I don't know that part of the story. My sister was not rich. However, my mother did bond with her twins while caring for them and that made it better for her and Sis. I can't even imagine wanting my mother to babysit for my kids for an hour. Not that she would have, but still. Anyhow, back to the funeral. I am torn about it. My father wants a full blown Jewish ceremony in which everyone sits shiva for seven days. I am not that familiar with Jewish funerals, but I know they are long and drawn out and that isn't going to happen with me. If I go at all, and if Bro planned somewhere for all to sit shiva, I am leaving right after the ceremony. It is just like my dad, being a narcissist, to want a big, elaborate ceremony after his passing. And my brotehr does exactly what is asked of him so it will happen. But, if I go at all, I go, it's over, I'm done, I can always visit in private. I don't believe that any rituals of any religion have validity so my being there would be a farce. I do believe in a higher power...very strongly...but I don't think He or She expects us to do these rituals. Also I don't need to see a ton of relatives that I was never allowed to know (long story there...has to do with my mom and my dad's fear of her). So he's got this huge family and they will all show up and I won't know them and most certainly won't be in the mood to socialize. On my best day, I am not comfortable with people I don't 'know and that won't be my best day. if I go. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
Top