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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 121511" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi all, </p><p></p><p>Well it was a nice visit. In between signs of maturity I still see glimpses of the old Dude. </p><p></p><p>As far as where he is living and the situation. I have gone to the state/governors office and made demands to have him moved. I have a phone interview with the director of the state program Monday. I will be telling all this to her. I did take notes - I am between a rock and a rock. </p><p></p><p>There are no other programs that will take him with his file, age and history. I have been offered 2 other programs. One was in the paper 3 years ago for putting children in cages and the other is a psychiatric. hospital, lock down facility for severely dysfunctional children ie; kids who can't control bodily functions, head bangers, and other poor kids like that. IT's not an appropriate setting for a kid that has sensory issues - it would make him worse. As far as the place that puts them in cages? Well I'm sure they don't do that any more but the fact that they can even still HAVE their facility floors me. </p><p></p><p>As far as him being abused - Willow - I hear you. No offense taken. And you are right. He doesn't need to be there, I should be able to pull him out today - and then put him somewhere else - but there is nothing left. And when I did reach out to the CW - well you saw what he said. And if I pull him out without the courts approval? I go to jail and Dude does 6 years in an adult jail. So while it's ripping my heart out in ways I can't even express and since few here have experience with how lovely a SC adult prison is- leaving him where he's at for now is better than jail. </p><p></p><p>Yes, they need to be shut down. Yes - my son deserves better. The other boys there deserve better. I begged the CW and the treatment team to get him out of there - his dad did too, but they basically told us - No one wants him and it's either this, or the psychiatric hospital. When we said no to the hospital - they said "Well fine - then you take him home." Not an appropriate answer. Hence the meeting with the state level coordinator tomorrow. </p><p></p><p>Regarding him not coming home for Christmas - it wasn't because he was violent - (although he can be very violent at times) I said I didn't think I could handle Christmas because of the emotional aspect of it all. And then before I even thought I would change my mind - the probation officer said NO CAN DO - No holiday. </p><p></p><p>I just can't tell you how badly I wanted to yell out to him at 6:30 this am - NO wait - stay - it will all be okay - you can come home - you can this - we'll do that - and how badly it hurt more to look at him in the eyes and hear him say "I'll be okay Momma, I'm sorry I told you cause now you'll worry." The other boy saying 'We take care of each other Momma 2 - aarhhhite." </p><p></p><p>If I sound hypocritical about the abuse issue - I guess maybe you're right about that too. Abuse is abuse and shouldn't be tolerated. Period. I just don't have any place else that is safer for him than where he is now - because I know if I tried to bring him home he WOULD be back with the old friends and in jail in a matter of no time. Trying to pick the lesser of these two evils isn't easy. </p><p></p><p>We gave the boys money for food and gas and let them go. Keep me in your good thoughts tomorrow that speaking with this woman will do some good - because if it does not. WE may end up with Dude at home. </p><p></p><p>Thanks so much for all the concern and good thoughts - all in all we had a very good visit. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 121511, member: 4964"] Hi all, Well it was a nice visit. In between signs of maturity I still see glimpses of the old Dude. As far as where he is living and the situation. I have gone to the state/governors office and made demands to have him moved. I have a phone interview with the director of the state program Monday. I will be telling all this to her. I did take notes - I am between a rock and a rock. There are no other programs that will take him with his file, age and history. I have been offered 2 other programs. One was in the paper 3 years ago for putting children in cages and the other is a psychiatric. hospital, lock down facility for severely dysfunctional children ie; kids who can't control bodily functions, head bangers, and other poor kids like that. IT's not an appropriate setting for a kid that has sensory issues - it would make him worse. As far as the place that puts them in cages? Well I'm sure they don't do that any more but the fact that they can even still HAVE their facility floors me. As far as him being abused - Willow - I hear you. No offense taken. And you are right. He doesn't need to be there, I should be able to pull him out today - and then put him somewhere else - but there is nothing left. And when I did reach out to the CW - well you saw what he said. And if I pull him out without the courts approval? I go to jail and Dude does 6 years in an adult jail. So while it's ripping my heart out in ways I can't even express and since few here have experience with how lovely a SC adult prison is- leaving him where he's at for now is better than jail. Yes, they need to be shut down. Yes - my son deserves better. The other boys there deserve better. I begged the CW and the treatment team to get him out of there - his dad did too, but they basically told us - No one wants him and it's either this, or the psychiatric hospital. When we said no to the hospital - they said "Well fine - then you take him home." Not an appropriate answer. Hence the meeting with the state level coordinator tomorrow. Regarding him not coming home for Christmas - it wasn't because he was violent - (although he can be very violent at times) I said I didn't think I could handle Christmas because of the emotional aspect of it all. And then before I even thought I would change my mind - the probation officer said NO CAN DO - No holiday. I just can't tell you how badly I wanted to yell out to him at 6:30 this am - NO wait - stay - it will all be okay - you can come home - you can this - we'll do that - and how badly it hurt more to look at him in the eyes and hear him say "I'll be okay Momma, I'm sorry I told you cause now you'll worry." The other boy saying 'We take care of each other Momma 2 - aarhhhite." If I sound hypocritical about the abuse issue - I guess maybe you're right about that too. Abuse is abuse and shouldn't be tolerated. Period. I just don't have any place else that is safer for him than where he is now - because I know if I tried to bring him home he WOULD be back with the old friends and in jail in a matter of no time. Trying to pick the lesser of these two evils isn't easy. We gave the boys money for food and gas and let them go. Keep me in your good thoughts tomorrow that speaking with this woman will do some good - because if it does not. WE may end up with Dude at home. Thanks so much for all the concern and good thoughts - all in all we had a very good visit. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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