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General Parenting
What About Mom's Feelings...?
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<blockquote data-quote="C.J." data-source="post: 232768" data-attributes="member: 1987"><p>I just updated my signature and erased the part where my mom thought my difficult child was a easy child for a long time, and when she got it, and the awakening wasn't a pretty sight.</p><p></p><p>For years, N* would complain to my mother, who would tell me it wasn't what I was saying, but it was the TONE in which I was saying it that could be improved. </p><p></p><p>N* is chronically late, and at her worst in the mornings when it is time to leave for school. When early gentle reminders didn't work, I tried yelling. Every morning - I'd try a calm pleasant voice - "we need to leave in 30 minutes, 15 minutes, now." If she wasn't in the car when it was time to leave, I'd yell - I'm leaving NOW! Go to the garage, start the car, and leave. If she was in the car, great. If not, I'd call the school, tell them to give her an unexcused absence, and go on to work. She'd call later, crying, telling me her stomach hurt, she had diarrhea, etc. </p><p></p><p>I had my mother stay with N* on the first business trip I ever took when she was about 14. After four days with N*, she told me the following - "You don't have to leave town again anytime soon, do you? Oh, and you're right - if something happens to you, you should have your best friend and her husband raise her with their children. I'll just visit her like I do now." That was the closest to an apology I got.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="C.J., post: 232768, member: 1987"] I just updated my signature and erased the part where my mom thought my difficult child was a easy child for a long time, and when she got it, and the awakening wasn't a pretty sight. For years, N* would complain to my mother, who would tell me it wasn't what I was saying, but it was the TONE in which I was saying it that could be improved. N* is chronically late, and at her worst in the mornings when it is time to leave for school. When early gentle reminders didn't work, I tried yelling. Every morning - I'd try a calm pleasant voice - "we need to leave in 30 minutes, 15 minutes, now." If she wasn't in the car when it was time to leave, I'd yell - I'm leaving NOW! Go to the garage, start the car, and leave. If she was in the car, great. If not, I'd call the school, tell them to give her an unexcused absence, and go on to work. She'd call later, crying, telling me her stomach hurt, she had diarrhea, etc. I had my mother stay with N* on the first business trip I ever took when she was about 14. After four days with N*, she told me the following - "You don't have to leave town again anytime soon, do you? Oh, and you're right - if something happens to you, you should have your best friend and her husband raise her with their children. I'll just visit her like I do now." That was the closest to an apology I got. [/QUOTE]
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