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Substance Abuse
What can you do once they are 18?????
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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 546382" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>I am also sorry for what you are going through. He is 18, so your options are limited, but you do not have to have it under your nose and in front of your other children. If he wants to choose a lifestyle that you cannot have in your home, then he must leave. I would also cut off any financially oriented support such as cell phones, laptops, cars, etc. I would sit and have a calm talk with him. Tell him you love him and you are here for him when he is ready but that you cannot support a lifestyle of use and irresponsible behavior. He is mis-using your support to do nothing productive, only fund his partying lifestyle. I would tell him the only way he can stay is if he agrees to get help and live within the rules you set at home. If he cannot do that, he cannot stay BUT - the door is wide open if he decides that he wants your help and can live under those terms. In the support group meetings that I have been to, former addicts will tell you that when we allow the behavior to continue in our home, with them calling the shots, we are allowing their use to continue. If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you can find an interventionist or attend and open AA meeting and talk to someone who has walked in your son's shoes, it make help you develop the resolve you will neet to take on your son's disease. Good luck. It is not an easy road and many of us have been there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 546382, member: 12490"] I am also sorry for what you are going through. He is 18, so your options are limited, but you do not have to have it under your nose and in front of your other children. If he wants to choose a lifestyle that you cannot have in your home, then he must leave. I would also cut off any financially oriented support such as cell phones, laptops, cars, etc. I would sit and have a calm talk with him. Tell him you love him and you are here for him when he is ready but that you cannot support a lifestyle of use and irresponsible behavior. He is mis-using your support to do nothing productive, only fund his partying lifestyle. I would tell him the only way he can stay is if he agrees to get help and live within the rules you set at home. If he cannot do that, he cannot stay BUT - the door is wide open if he decides that he wants your help and can live under those terms. In the support group meetings that I have been to, former addicts will tell you that when we allow the behavior to continue in our home, with them calling the shots, we are allowing their use to continue. If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you can find an interventionist or attend and open AA meeting and talk to someone who has walked in your son's shoes, it make help you develop the resolve you will neet to take on your son's disease. Good luck. It is not an easy road and many of us have been there. [/QUOTE]
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What can you do once they are 18?????
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