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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 254090" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>It's all right, I know you are all trying to be supportive. I don't think it was the lean and rest, he's done it before; and he isn't much punished because we just don't know what to do; nothing works and most of the time he gets yelled at by husband a bit and told, "We know you did it, it's a terrible thing to do, all you've accomplished is to make things unhappier for everyone." and then it's more or less just walk away. Truthfully, he gets a consequence for about half of what he does, and he does some pretty malicious stuff. It used to be every time but he's so therapy and consequence resistent, we've truthfully have sort of given up. The punishments I've listed in the last post are more or less token punishments, that have the value of having an immediate consequence and being over with quickly. He's never balked at them before. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe it's not optimal, but in four years nothing, nothing, nothing has worked and we've tried every system. </p><p> </p><p>I think he left, not because of the punishment, but because I was the only one here and he could leave with impunity. With five other people in the house and weird school schedules, difficult child and I are almost never alone together. In fact, he's almost always got five adult-sized people around him at all times, plus the friends the older kids bring around. Lots of people, lots of witnesses--him and me being alone is actually very, very rare. If he'd run off at almost any other time, one of the older kids easily would have run after him and brought him back. </p><p> </p><p>I don't know. I just don't know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 254090, member: 5169"] It's all right, I know you are all trying to be supportive. I don't think it was the lean and rest, he's done it before; and he isn't much punished because we just don't know what to do; nothing works and most of the time he gets yelled at by husband a bit and told, "We know you did it, it's a terrible thing to do, all you've accomplished is to make things unhappier for everyone." and then it's more or less just walk away. Truthfully, he gets a consequence for about half of what he does, and he does some pretty malicious stuff. It used to be every time but he's so therapy and consequence resistent, we've truthfully have sort of given up. The punishments I've listed in the last post are more or less token punishments, that have the value of having an immediate consequence and being over with quickly. He's never balked at them before. Maybe it's not optimal, but in four years nothing, nothing, nothing has worked and we've tried every system. I think he left, not because of the punishment, but because I was the only one here and he could leave with impunity. With five other people in the house and weird school schedules, difficult child and I are almost never alone together. In fact, he's almost always got five adult-sized people around him at all times, plus the friends the older kids bring around. Lots of people, lots of witnesses--him and me being alone is actually very, very rare. If he'd run off at almost any other time, one of the older kids easily would have run after him and brought him back. I don't know. I just don't know. [/QUOTE]
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