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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 118771" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Bubble baths are nice, and can be relaxing without little fingers poking under the door, or like at my house it used to be grand pounding on the door for difficult child to be let in. No thank you. </p><p></p><p>On the Healthier side of coping: Getting outside and into nature helps me to destress the most. Walking in the woods, even if it's the small woods behind our home. Going out at night and staring up into the star studded skies and just staring at the moon. It helps me to realize how small we are and that "this too shall pass". Sometimes going for a drive on a beautiful day up into the mountains where we don't go often. Playing fetch with my dogs or just lying with them and petting them and feeling their warm little bodies next to my legs. Meeting a friend for coffee in the morning before work. Meeting a friend for a quick lunch. Reading is one of my favorite escapes! Listening to music as I drive alone somewhere...I love listening to music really really loud and H hates it so I sometimes with just find an excuse to hop into my car and go listen to loud music. Now I have a nano-ipod so I suppose I could walk and listen, but I like singing out loud because it feels like I'm venting in a healthy way.</p><p></p><p>The most unhealthiest ways of coping for me have been smoking cigarettes and maybe having 2 glasses of wine instead of one. But, IMVHO, if those are the worst I can do to cope, then I think the other stuff makes up for it. </p><p></p><p>Find something that brings you joy and happiness rather than simple calm. </p><p></p><p>For me, and in my opinion, counterbalancing the stress and anger and resentment of coping with a major difficult child require laughter, joy and happiness. I am calm when I'm reading because I'm escaping. But doing something fun that makes me laugh or feel joy really helps me to deal with the day to day stuff. There is a butterfly conservatory up in Mass that I love to visit. I could just sit there and watch the butterflies flutter all day long and never get bored of it. I love firework shows, funny movies, walking along the beach on a cold day. </p><p></p><p>Think about all the things you enjoyed BEFORE you were married and had a difficult child - then seek those things out and see if they still bring you joy. Often, we get so wrapped up in our difficult child lives that we forget.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 118771, member: 2211"] Bubble baths are nice, and can be relaxing without little fingers poking under the door, or like at my house it used to be grand pounding on the door for difficult child to be let in. No thank you. On the Healthier side of coping: Getting outside and into nature helps me to destress the most. Walking in the woods, even if it's the small woods behind our home. Going out at night and staring up into the star studded skies and just staring at the moon. It helps me to realize how small we are and that "this too shall pass". Sometimes going for a drive on a beautiful day up into the mountains where we don't go often. Playing fetch with my dogs or just lying with them and petting them and feeling their warm little bodies next to my legs. Meeting a friend for coffee in the morning before work. Meeting a friend for a quick lunch. Reading is one of my favorite escapes! Listening to music as I drive alone somewhere...I love listening to music really really loud and H hates it so I sometimes with just find an excuse to hop into my car and go listen to loud music. Now I have a nano-ipod so I suppose I could walk and listen, but I like singing out loud because it feels like I'm venting in a healthy way. The most unhealthiest ways of coping for me have been smoking cigarettes and maybe having 2 glasses of wine instead of one. But, IMVHO, if those are the worst I can do to cope, then I think the other stuff makes up for it. Find something that brings you joy and happiness rather than simple calm. For me, and in my opinion, counterbalancing the stress and anger and resentment of coping with a major difficult child require laughter, joy and happiness. I am calm when I'm reading because I'm escaping. But doing something fun that makes me laugh or feel joy really helps me to deal with the day to day stuff. There is a butterfly conservatory up in Mass that I love to visit. I could just sit there and watch the butterflies flutter all day long and never get bored of it. I love firework shows, funny movies, walking along the beach on a cold day. Think about all the things you enjoyed BEFORE you were married and had a difficult child - then seek those things out and see if they still bring you joy. Often, we get so wrapped up in our difficult child lives that we forget. [/QUOTE]
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