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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 354493" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>While I am glad that he will need a payee so that he won't be able to blow all the money the day he gets it, I urge you and husband to NOT be his payee. I would also encourage you to have him move out with the first payment if at all possible. He may balk at moving out once he sees how far his money WON"T go once he pays for rent, bills and food. </p><p></p><p>It will cause you a LOT of stress to have to handle his money (think of him writing checks even when there is no money in his account and expecting YOU to make up the difference because you are "responsible" for his $$. I have seen several difficult children do this to their families. It has ruined almost every holiday for the last couple of years for one friend of my moms. </p><p></p><p>PLEASE don't let yourself be drawn into his business that much. Plus, if he gets it into his head that he isn't getting all of his money then he very well may accuse you of stealing from him. He may very well say that you are "taking" his money to pay your bills while you are out of work. I know you wouldn't, but it could end up being a HUGE problem, even potentially a legal one if he gets mad because you say he cannot buy something because he doesn't have the $$. </p><p></p><p>This is all kinds of headaches you don't need. Let him go and ask the SSI people who he should call to arrange a payee. You are NOT obligated to do this. In fact, he will probably learn about money a LOT faster if he has someone else be his payee.</p><p></p><p>I am glad he is getting this though. Just make sure you have a list of food banks and free meal places to give him when his money runs out. He will learn better from that list than he will from having you give him groceries.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 354493, member: 1233"] While I am glad that he will need a payee so that he won't be able to blow all the money the day he gets it, I urge you and husband to NOT be his payee. I would also encourage you to have him move out with the first payment if at all possible. He may balk at moving out once he sees how far his money WON"T go once he pays for rent, bills and food. It will cause you a LOT of stress to have to handle his money (think of him writing checks even when there is no money in his account and expecting YOU to make up the difference because you are "responsible" for his $$. I have seen several difficult children do this to their families. It has ruined almost every holiday for the last couple of years for one friend of my moms. PLEASE don't let yourself be drawn into his business that much. Plus, if he gets it into his head that he isn't getting all of his money then he very well may accuse you of stealing from him. He may very well say that you are "taking" his money to pay your bills while you are out of work. I know you wouldn't, but it could end up being a HUGE problem, even potentially a legal one if he gets mad because you say he cannot buy something because he doesn't have the $$. This is all kinds of headaches you don't need. Let him go and ask the SSI people who he should call to arrange a payee. You are NOT obligated to do this. In fact, he will probably learn about money a LOT faster if he has someone else be his payee. I am glad he is getting this though. Just make sure you have a list of food banks and free meal places to give him when his money runs out. He will learn better from that list than he will from having you give him groceries. [/QUOTE]
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