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What do you do with room when difficult child has moved out?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 559066" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I only cleaned it. It was a complete mess and disaster zone (by the way, kid is now slowly turning to neat freak, how very odd, he is certainly only one in this family) and needed to be cleaned. At the same time I took out everything inappropriate. At that time we were not sure if he would be coming back (we would had taken him back had he failed his chance to do his sport in other town and other team) and he was anyway underaged so no really throwing him out, just giving him permission to go and try to grab that second/last chance he got. But now it starts to get more and more clear he will never be back. Well, he will be back to visit, even for exteneded visits, he may even live here some short gap between this and that. But he has certainly outgrown his room and living at home, even though we do expect easy child to live home in that age and even older. </p><p></p><p>difficult child's room was also last restyled when he was 13, so it is young boy's room. difficult child does sleep there, when he is visiting, but it is in my list of renovations, when I do have time and inspiration. But I have too had difficult time deciding what to do with it. I have thought about changing it to this or that (we do have one guest bedroom/office space, so difficult child would still have bed here), but to be honest: In this house every activity tends to gravitate towards kitchen and whatever I make from difficult child's room, it will not be used. So I think I will probably just make it more neutral (and adult) difficult child's room/guest bedroom. </p><p></p><p>Thinking all the options have been good for me emotionally. I do think my feelings are more common empty nest related than gfgness related, but I also think that most of use feel also those normal empty nest feelings behind all the difficult child issues covering it. Normally in our culture boy of difficult child's age would still be at least officially living home (they are either finishing high school or serving their military duty and boys usually only leave after military duty there they have most of weekends free and having your own flat for that would be expensive, easier to live at home until that is over.) So difficult child living three hours away felt abnormal to me and somehow I was thinking, that he was really still at home even though he mostly was in this other town. it only hit me last spring, when difficult child called and told that he would be home for a night and could we please take him to the airport next morning. He was coming here because we are living so conveniently near the airport his flight took off. That was when it really hit me, for him, this was basically a convenient airport hotel. Okay his FB status about home, sweet home, at the night he was here helped me a bit. So does his adapting local college kids lingo, there home is where you live and homehome is a place your parents live. A bit softer transformation for me...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 559066, member: 14557"] I only cleaned it. It was a complete mess and disaster zone (by the way, kid is now slowly turning to neat freak, how very odd, he is certainly only one in this family) and needed to be cleaned. At the same time I took out everything inappropriate. At that time we were not sure if he would be coming back (we would had taken him back had he failed his chance to do his sport in other town and other team) and he was anyway underaged so no really throwing him out, just giving him permission to go and try to grab that second/last chance he got. But now it starts to get more and more clear he will never be back. Well, he will be back to visit, even for exteneded visits, he may even live here some short gap between this and that. But he has certainly outgrown his room and living at home, even though we do expect easy child to live home in that age and even older. difficult child's room was also last restyled when he was 13, so it is young boy's room. difficult child does sleep there, when he is visiting, but it is in my list of renovations, when I do have time and inspiration. But I have too had difficult time deciding what to do with it. I have thought about changing it to this or that (we do have one guest bedroom/office space, so difficult child would still have bed here), but to be honest: In this house every activity tends to gravitate towards kitchen and whatever I make from difficult child's room, it will not be used. So I think I will probably just make it more neutral (and adult) difficult child's room/guest bedroom. Thinking all the options have been good for me emotionally. I do think my feelings are more common empty nest related than gfgness related, but I also think that most of use feel also those normal empty nest feelings behind all the difficult child issues covering it. Normally in our culture boy of difficult child's age would still be at least officially living home (they are either finishing high school or serving their military duty and boys usually only leave after military duty there they have most of weekends free and having your own flat for that would be expensive, easier to live at home until that is over.) So difficult child living three hours away felt abnormal to me and somehow I was thinking, that he was really still at home even though he mostly was in this other town. it only hit me last spring, when difficult child called and told that he would be home for a night and could we please take him to the airport next morning. He was coming here because we are living so conveniently near the airport his flight took off. That was when it really hit me, for him, this was basically a convenient airport hotel. Okay his FB status about home, sweet home, at the night he was here helped me a bit. So does his adapting local college kids lingo, there home is where you live and homehome is a place your parents live. A bit softer transformation for me... [/QUOTE]
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What do you do with room when difficult child has moved out?
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