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What do you do with the anger?
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 397851" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Watching our kids screw up their lives in infuriating. How do I deal with it? Honestly? Therapy. That's the best way I've worked through my anger, my despair, my absolute-pull-my-hair-out-frustration with my Youngest in particular. She's making decisions and putting herself and her children through a situation that is just incomprehensible to me right now, and I'm furious about it, not to mention heartbroken. However, it's not my situation to bear, it's hers. My anger isn't going to help her want to change her situation, and if it did, she would be changing it for the wrong reasons. She's the one that needs to get angry and change her situation, because *she* is fed up about it, not because I'm fed up about it. My anger comes out of my frustration with having no control over the situation.. except it's not mine to control, anyway. Dealing with my own anger is all part of my own detachment process. Boy, is it difficult. I'm grateful that I have a wonderful therapist to help me through it, I don't think I could do it without her. Not with my sanity intact, anyway. </p><p></p><p>Of course, banging things around/hitting things in a safe environment doesn't hurt, either <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> At this point I'm just glad she isn't within driving distance or that something I'd hit might be her fiance....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 397851, member: 1157"] Watching our kids screw up their lives in infuriating. How do I deal with it? Honestly? Therapy. That's the best way I've worked through my anger, my despair, my absolute-pull-my-hair-out-frustration with my Youngest in particular. She's making decisions and putting herself and her children through a situation that is just incomprehensible to me right now, and I'm furious about it, not to mention heartbroken. However, it's not my situation to bear, it's hers. My anger isn't going to help her want to change her situation, and if it did, she would be changing it for the wrong reasons. She's the one that needs to get angry and change her situation, because *she* is fed up about it, not because I'm fed up about it. My anger comes out of my frustration with having no control over the situation.. except it's not mine to control, anyway. Dealing with my own anger is all part of my own detachment process. Boy, is it difficult. I'm grateful that I have a wonderful therapist to help me through it, I don't think I could do it without her. Not with my sanity intact, anyway. Of course, banging things around/hitting things in a safe environment doesn't hurt, either :) At this point I'm just glad she isn't within driving distance or that something I'd hit might be her fiance.... [/QUOTE]
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What do you do with the anger?
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