Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What do you do with the anger?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 397961" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Hex............I think you're right. It would be impossible for me to watch someone else sacrifice to give love and care to my grandkids, then have to listen to the parents ect..........I'd be at a low boil at all times too. If I had my grands in my care and katie or M came around spouting the crud they do now, I'd go off big time, every time most likely as it puts a different spin on it. sister in law is doing the very things difficult child should be doing concerning Rae.....and it's sort of like having your face rubbed in it........although I know that isn't intended at all. It just makes it so much harder to distance yourself from it. </p><p></p><p>Sort of like Nichole wanting to go off on her sister over the xmas present disaster after the holiday. She was livid, still is livid, and can't for the life of her figure out why I'm not livid. I am ticked, but I have an easy solution.......I just stop helping. Evan has a birthday in 2 wks. I already informed Katie I don't do birthday parties. If I buy a gift it will be a very cheap gift as I expect it not to last long. Sad for Evan, but I see no point in putting money into something that may last a week at best. I won't do another holiday. Every child deserves at least one magical xmas. I did that for katie's kids this year. There won't be a repeat performance. This is the 2nd time I've bought the kids a full wardrobe.......never again. Time for their parents to step up to the plate, or to back down and admit they can't handle the job. But in doing what I did do..........it sets the standard bar higher for Katie and M to have to meet. The kids have had a big taste of "normal" these past couple of months........I see the effects already in the older two. If Katie and M had half a brain they'd hate my guts right now. Kayla and Alex balk, confront, demand to know why their parents aren't meeting "normal" standards.......in the process are making Katie and M miserable. </p><p></p><p>In the meantime, I know the grands are safe, off the street, have decent food to eat, and are back in a decent school system that honestly cares for the kids welfare. The rest is a wait and see situation.</p><p></p><p>I do know that I've thought on this since you posted. And I think the reason I can detach as much as I can............is because of all those years of no contact with katie and the kids. After surviving her vanishing act the first time......surviving grieving for them as if they'd died.......I know that I will make it through this where ever it leads. I love kayla and Alex dearly and I'm growing to love Evan far more than I ever expected to. But due to that 6 yr absence I'm not as close with them emotionally as I'd have been if they'd been here. And I've been cautious not to allow myself to get that close to them again for now. Once bitten, twice shy. I'm waiting to see how this plays out before I open my heart fully again.</p><p></p><p>Rae is doubly fortunate to have sister in law and you in her life loving her. She's a very lucky little girl.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 397961, member: 84"] Hex............I think you're right. It would be impossible for me to watch someone else sacrifice to give love and care to my grandkids, then have to listen to the parents ect..........I'd be at a low boil at all times too. If I had my grands in my care and katie or M came around spouting the crud they do now, I'd go off big time, every time most likely as it puts a different spin on it. sister in law is doing the very things difficult child should be doing concerning Rae.....and it's sort of like having your face rubbed in it........although I know that isn't intended at all. It just makes it so much harder to distance yourself from it. Sort of like Nichole wanting to go off on her sister over the xmas present disaster after the holiday. She was livid, still is livid, and can't for the life of her figure out why I'm not livid. I am ticked, but I have an easy solution.......I just stop helping. Evan has a birthday in 2 wks. I already informed Katie I don't do birthday parties. If I buy a gift it will be a very cheap gift as I expect it not to last long. Sad for Evan, but I see no point in putting money into something that may last a week at best. I won't do another holiday. Every child deserves at least one magical xmas. I did that for katie's kids this year. There won't be a repeat performance. This is the 2nd time I've bought the kids a full wardrobe.......never again. Time for their parents to step up to the plate, or to back down and admit they can't handle the job. But in doing what I did do..........it sets the standard bar higher for Katie and M to have to meet. The kids have had a big taste of "normal" these past couple of months........I see the effects already in the older two. If Katie and M had half a brain they'd hate my guts right now. Kayla and Alex balk, confront, demand to know why their parents aren't meeting "normal" standards.......in the process are making Katie and M miserable. In the meantime, I know the grands are safe, off the street, have decent food to eat, and are back in a decent school system that honestly cares for the kids welfare. The rest is a wait and see situation. I do know that I've thought on this since you posted. And I think the reason I can detach as much as I can............is because of all those years of no contact with katie and the kids. After surviving her vanishing act the first time......surviving grieving for them as if they'd died.......I know that I will make it through this where ever it leads. I love kayla and Alex dearly and I'm growing to love Evan far more than I ever expected to. But due to that 6 yr absence I'm not as close with them emotionally as I'd have been if they'd been here. And I've been cautious not to allow myself to get that close to them again for now. Once bitten, twice shy. I'm waiting to see how this plays out before I open my heart fully again. Rae is doubly fortunate to have sister in law and you in her life loving her. She's a very lucky little girl. Hugs [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What do you do with the anger?
Top