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What do you do with the anger?
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 398062" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>I truly understand your anger. Really. Your dtr is probably somewhere on the personality disorder scale. I would say she has a healthy dose of borderline along with antisocial and some traits of histrionic thrown in there for good measure. You simply cannot parent a person like that anymore. I have a good website for parents of kids with borderline PD if you want it. It is for adult kids and teenage kids. Oh...its for the parents of those aged kids. Thats what I meant. It might be a good outlet for you because really, dealing with one PD is about the same as dealing with any other. You just cant walk on eggshells around her and set up those boundaries which you have done.</p><p></p><p>Cory has been a good father with Keyana...physically. She adores him. He loves her - as much as he is capable of loving another human being. He does not get the whole "you put your child before yourself, to the exclusion of all else and everyone else" deal. I know he loves her but we are more her parents than he is. We support her. He will buy for him and Mandy before he even thinks about what Keyana needs or god forbids wants. He bought her one thing for Xmas...a 29 dollar bike on Black Friday and I had to get that and have him pay me back. He stood in line and bought Mandy a laptop. Then he complained that he didnt have anymore money to get Keyana anything else. Not even stuff from Family Dollar for 5 or 10 bucks. But they both went out and bought clothes for each other and new shoes. Keyana needs new shoes. She has one pair at her moms house. The two pair I bought in August dont fit her anymore. Notice I said I bought. I pay 55 a month for dance lessons, buy all her uniforms, all her dance shoes, her recital costume. I spend at least 200 bucks 3 times a year on clothes with a few extra items thrown in here and there like socks, underwear and tee shirts. </p><p></p><p>Mandy went out and bought one of their friends little girls a pair of shoes and a new outfit because the mom hadnt been able to buy the girl anything new in a while. HUH? Cory has a dtr to buy for and you guys are buying for another child? I dont get it. She bought a $40 pair of shoes for that kid. They could have bought Keyana two pairs of shoes for that. </p><p></p><p>This is the stuff that ticks me off because Mandy is just as big a borderline PD person as anyone I have ever met. She rules Cory and he lets her to the detriment of his child. </p><p></p><p>I just ignore and I refuse to allow him to tell me anything about what I can or will do with Keyana because as far as Im concerned, he doesnt have the right to tell me what I can do with her. She is mine. I actually have the full blessing of the mother to do whatever I please with Keyana so Cory be damned. Cory really cant overrule that. He doesnt want to get in the middle of a war. I actually think the two grandmothers would win in a custody battle for the grandkids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 398062, member: 1514"] I truly understand your anger. Really. Your dtr is probably somewhere on the personality disorder scale. I would say she has a healthy dose of borderline along with antisocial and some traits of histrionic thrown in there for good measure. You simply cannot parent a person like that anymore. I have a good website for parents of kids with borderline PD if you want it. It is for adult kids and teenage kids. Oh...its for the parents of those aged kids. Thats what I meant. It might be a good outlet for you because really, dealing with one PD is about the same as dealing with any other. You just cant walk on eggshells around her and set up those boundaries which you have done. Cory has been a good father with Keyana...physically. She adores him. He loves her - as much as he is capable of loving another human being. He does not get the whole "you put your child before yourself, to the exclusion of all else and everyone else" deal. I know he loves her but we are more her parents than he is. We support her. He will buy for him and Mandy before he even thinks about what Keyana needs or god forbids wants. He bought her one thing for Xmas...a 29 dollar bike on Black Friday and I had to get that and have him pay me back. He stood in line and bought Mandy a laptop. Then he complained that he didnt have anymore money to get Keyana anything else. Not even stuff from Family Dollar for 5 or 10 bucks. But they both went out and bought clothes for each other and new shoes. Keyana needs new shoes. She has one pair at her moms house. The two pair I bought in August dont fit her anymore. Notice I said I bought. I pay 55 a month for dance lessons, buy all her uniforms, all her dance shoes, her recital costume. I spend at least 200 bucks 3 times a year on clothes with a few extra items thrown in here and there like socks, underwear and tee shirts. Mandy went out and bought one of their friends little girls a pair of shoes and a new outfit because the mom hadnt been able to buy the girl anything new in a while. HUH? Cory has a dtr to buy for and you guys are buying for another child? I dont get it. She bought a $40 pair of shoes for that kid. They could have bought Keyana two pairs of shoes for that. This is the stuff that ticks me off because Mandy is just as big a borderline PD person as anyone I have ever met. She rules Cory and he lets her to the detriment of his child. I just ignore and I refuse to allow him to tell me anything about what I can or will do with Keyana because as far as Im concerned, he doesnt have the right to tell me what I can do with her. She is mine. I actually have the full blessing of the mother to do whatever I please with Keyana so Cory be damned. Cory really cant overrule that. He doesnt want to get in the middle of a war. I actually think the two grandmothers would win in a custody battle for the grandkids. [/QUOTE]
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