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Parent Emeritus
What do you do with the anger?
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 398314" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>We found it helpful to acknowledge the hurt under the anger. There are no words to describe the horror of watching a child self destruct. There is comfort to be found though, in hearing from those who love you and who have lived through the horror with you, the words "I am so sorry this happened to you, and to me, and to our child." husband and I found that saying, and hearing, those words released a well of unacknowledged grief. We were able to find that wordless place of compassion for one another and then, were able to extend that same compassion to ourselves. When we did that, the anger became a thing separate from us, and we were able to see and name and deal with it more appropriately.</p><p></p><p>The grief we feel at the loss of our child (and we do feel an overwhelming sense of loss and confusion at what has happened to us, and to our family) could then be addressed as a separate issue.</p><p></p><p>It is difficult to find compassion for ourselves when our children are in danger, and impossible to rest easy with the decisions we must make as we parent our difficult child children.</p><p></p><p>Know that i wish you and your family all good things.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 398314, member: 1721"] We found it helpful to acknowledge the hurt under the anger. There are no words to describe the horror of watching a child self destruct. There is comfort to be found though, in hearing from those who love you and who have lived through the horror with you, the words "I am so sorry this happened to you, and to me, and to our child." husband and I found that saying, and hearing, those words released a well of unacknowledged grief. We were able to find that wordless place of compassion for one another and then, were able to extend that same compassion to ourselves. When we did that, the anger became a thing separate from us, and we were able to see and name and deal with it more appropriately. The grief we feel at the loss of our child (and we do feel an overwhelming sense of loss and confusion at what has happened to us, and to our family) could then be addressed as a separate issue. It is difficult to find compassion for ourselves when our children are in danger, and impossible to rest easy with the decisions we must make as we parent our difficult child children. Know that i wish you and your family all good things. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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What do you do with the anger?
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