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What do you guys think about Inner Child?
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 162831" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>I think the goal in "healing the inner child" has to do with evolving, and laying claim to, the rightness of cherishing the self we are, just as we are. For those of us taught there was nothing in us to cherish, there is nowhere to begin learning how to do that, no way to know how to change those old, negative tapes. We need a tool, a key of some kind, so that we can relearn our core selves from a different perspective than the one we were taught was the truth.</p><p></p><p>At the heart of it, we were born innocent.</p><p></p><p>That innocent little girl is still in there.</p><p></p><p>She has been taught terrible things about herself.</p><p></p><p>She may even have said or done terrible things.</p><p></p><p>But she is in there, hurt and beaten down and imprisoned beneath the falsity of the abusing parent's perceptions ~ perceptions that had nothing to do with the child, newly born, but with the parent's own woundedness.</p><p></p><p>We can choose, if we are strong enough, to stop that cycle ~ to stop allowing ourselves to be defined by a truth that was never true to begin with.</p><p></p><p>And if we do that, if we have the courage to confront and dismantle those old, negative tapes that never had a thing to do with that poor, victimized little girl who was sent out to cope in a world filled only with hatred...we can save her.</p><p></p><p>We can envision, and nurture, and protect her, now. </p><p></p><p>And when she is able to trust us, then she will become who she really was, all along.</p><p></p><p>There is no shame in it, Janet.</p><p></p><p>A wound is a wound, whether emotional or physical.</p><p></p><p>If you look for her, you will find her.</p><p></p><p>Your task will be to listen, and to help her reinterpret herself.</p><p></p><p>That is what is meant by "reparenting".</p><p></p><p>We reparent our inner child by bearing witness. </p><p></p><p>There was a time when you could not protect the child you were. Until recently, there was a time when you could not even question the interpretation of self you had been brought up to believe.</p><p></p><p>Now, you can. </p><p></p><p>Here is a quote you may find helpful:</p><p></p><p>"Once, I falsely hoped to meet with beings who, pardoning my outward form, would love me for the excellent qualities I was capable of unfolding."</p><p></p><p> Frankenstein's Monster Speaks</p><p> Mary Wolstonecraft Shelly</p><p></p><p>And another:</p><p></p><p>"There was a time, oh tender elf</p><p>when you were poetry, itself."</p><p></p><p>That's John Bradshaw, I think.</p><p></p><p>It's a celebration, what is happening for you now, Janet! You've worked very hard to get here.</p><p></p><p>Know that I wish you every success.</p><p></p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 162831, member: 3353"] I think the goal in "healing the inner child" has to do with evolving, and laying claim to, the rightness of cherishing the self we are, just as we are. For those of us taught there was nothing in us to cherish, there is nowhere to begin learning how to do that, no way to know how to change those old, negative tapes. We need a tool, a key of some kind, so that we can relearn our core selves from a different perspective than the one we were taught was the truth. At the heart of it, we were born innocent. That innocent little girl is still in there. She has been taught terrible things about herself. She may even have said or done terrible things. But she is in there, hurt and beaten down and imprisoned beneath the falsity of the abusing parent's perceptions ~ perceptions that had nothing to do with the child, newly born, but with the parent's own woundedness. We can choose, if we are strong enough, to stop that cycle ~ to stop allowing ourselves to be defined by a truth that was never true to begin with. And if we do that, if we have the courage to confront and dismantle those old, negative tapes that never had a thing to do with that poor, victimized little girl who was sent out to cope in a world filled only with hatred...we can save her. We can envision, and nurture, and protect her, now. And when she is able to trust us, then she will become who she really was, all along. There is no shame in it, Janet. A wound is a wound, whether emotional or physical. If you look for her, you will find her. Your task will be to listen, and to help her reinterpret herself. That is what is meant by "reparenting". We reparent our inner child by bearing witness. There was a time when you could not protect the child you were. Until recently, there was a time when you could not even question the interpretation of self you had been brought up to believe. Now, you can. Here is a quote you may find helpful: "Once, I falsely hoped to meet with beings who, pardoning my outward form, would love me for the excellent qualities I was capable of unfolding." Frankenstein's Monster Speaks Mary Wolstonecraft Shelly And another: "There was a time, oh tender elf when you were poetry, itself." That's John Bradshaw, I think. It's a celebration, what is happening for you now, Janet! You've worked very hard to get here. Know that I wish you every success. :) Barbara [/QUOTE]
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