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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 256449" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>husband and I go to counselling re how to parent difficult child. Altho she has not made a diagnosis with him, because he's not her patient, we are, and she hasn't spent the time with him. However, her purpose is to help us deal with him as a team. She's suggested having his blood tested for vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and when I said I was looking for a neuropsychiatrist she was very enthusiastic about it. </p><p> </p><p>Tonight she was listening to the latest installment, and asked two questions that I think are significant: "does he ever feel sorry for what he does? Does he have a conscience?" and "does he have empathy for others?"</p><p> </p><p>husband said 'very seldom' to both questions. To me those are the 'sociopath' questions. We also briefly touched on whether he could help it or not. husband goes through cycles when he feels very guilty about difficult child and starts pitying and excusing him and gets very protective of difficult child who can suddenly do no wrong, even if he does wrong (husband was raised by his neurotic mother to be codependent). Right now husband is in that stage. </p><p> </p><p>husband said he didn't think difficult child could help much. I said I think he can control most of it. And I pointed out that his drill sergeant, probation officer, and the last CPS officer thought so too, all saying if he could control himself at school, he could control himself at home.</p><p> </p><p>I might just be guessing, but I think she's sort of zeroing in on the personality disorder theory. There's no doubt a mix of the two and no separating the one from the other, and her job is to make us an effective united front whatever the problem is, but, even tho she suggested checking for vitamin deficiencies, I think she might be thinking personality disorder. She said several times, almost in amazement: he's so manipulative.</p><p> </p><p>I don't think husband gets the significance behind those two questions; we often hear them--and then a little bit later the professional/doctor/program says, "I don't think we can help, good luck with him."</p><p> </p><p>My gut says he's 90% manipulation--but husband's gut says he's about 50/50.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 256449, member: 5169"] husband and I go to counselling re how to parent difficult child. Altho she has not made a diagnosis with him, because he's not her patient, we are, and she hasn't spent the time with him. However, her purpose is to help us deal with him as a team. She's suggested having his blood tested for vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and when I said I was looking for a neuropsychiatrist she was very enthusiastic about it. Tonight she was listening to the latest installment, and asked two questions that I think are significant: "does he ever feel sorry for what he does? Does he have a conscience?" and "does he have empathy for others?" husband said 'very seldom' to both questions. To me those are the 'sociopath' questions. We also briefly touched on whether he could help it or not. husband goes through cycles when he feels very guilty about difficult child and starts pitying and excusing him and gets very protective of difficult child who can suddenly do no wrong, even if he does wrong (husband was raised by his neurotic mother to be codependent). Right now husband is in that stage. husband said he didn't think difficult child could help much. I said I think he can control most of it. And I pointed out that his drill sergeant, probation officer, and the last CPS officer thought so too, all saying if he could control himself at school, he could control himself at home. I might just be guessing, but I think she's sort of zeroing in on the personality disorder theory. There's no doubt a mix of the two and no separating the one from the other, and her job is to make us an effective united front whatever the problem is, but, even tho she suggested checking for vitamin deficiencies, I think she might be thinking personality disorder. She said several times, almost in amazement: he's so manipulative. I don't think husband gets the significance behind those two questions; we often hear them--and then a little bit later the professional/doctor/program says, "I don't think we can help, good luck with him." My gut says he's 90% manipulation--but husband's gut says he's about 50/50. [/QUOTE]
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