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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 131474" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Mikey,</p><p>You've GOT to stop giving McWeedy opportunities to bait you, and you've GOT to stop giving wife opportunities to do the Firestorm/Ice Queen thing.</p><p></p><p>Detaching doesn't mean standing in the doorway yelling at your pothead son when he rolls up to the door drunk-or-stoned, after breaking all the rules you set for him. Continuing to let him engage you like that gives you no peace at all and gives McWeedy an excuse to blame you rather than himself for the things he's doing wrong.</p><p></p><p>If you step back, then for good or ill, McWeedy's actions and the responsibility for them rests solely with him.</p><p></p><p>If you decide to lock the door when McWeedy's out past his time, then you need to lock it and let him live with the consequences of a locked door. He can sleep in the car he took without permission.</p><p></p><p>I know that if my difficult child took my credit card without my permission I would be reporting it stolen, just as I would if a stranger got hold of it. Whether your wife chooses to do so is up to her. But that's her battle. Not one that you should be fighting for her.</p><p></p><p>I know it's hard to step back. You feel that if only you <<take whatever action you are taking>> that will make a difference. Well, so far the only thing that has resulted is more fireworks. You need to step back.</p><p></p><p></p><p>As for "Itralian", I have no idea???</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 131474, member: 3907"] Mikey, You've GOT to stop giving McWeedy opportunities to bait you, and you've GOT to stop giving wife opportunities to do the Firestorm/Ice Queen thing. Detaching doesn't mean standing in the doorway yelling at your pothead son when he rolls up to the door drunk-or-stoned, after breaking all the rules you set for him. Continuing to let him engage you like that gives you no peace at all and gives McWeedy an excuse to blame you rather than himself for the things he's doing wrong. If you step back, then for good or ill, McWeedy's actions and the responsibility for them rests solely with him. If you decide to lock the door when McWeedy's out past his time, then you need to lock it and let him live with the consequences of a locked door. He can sleep in the car he took without permission. I know that if my difficult child took my credit card without my permission I would be reporting it stolen, just as I would if a stranger got hold of it. Whether your wife chooses to do so is up to her. But that's her battle. Not one that you should be fighting for her. I know it's hard to step back. You feel that if only you <<take whatever action you are taking>> that will make a difference. Well, so far the only thing that has resulted is more fireworks. You need to step back. As for "Itralian", I have no idea??? Trinity [/QUOTE]
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