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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 457833"><p>Mog,</p><p></p><p>You are not in the wrong at all..... He is not taking responsibility for not doing what he needs to do. It is a whole lot easier to just blame you for his failures... and it is very manipulative because if he can make you feel guilty for not keeping up your end of the deal, then maybe you will do or get him what he wants.</p><p></p><p>My suggestion is to stop making deals or things he percieves as deals. He is entitled (as a lot of our difficult children are, including mine). You don't owe him anything. Anything you give him should be because you want to, not because you owe it to him.</p><p></p><p>I would come up with something in writing saying the things he needs to do and rules he needs to follow. There is no way you should get him any kind of vehicle without him having a license. And certainly he can't get his license without glasses and without more practice. That is just dangerous for him and others.</p><p></p><p>I think many of us have been in that position where we are totally manipulated by our difficult children.... part of the process we need to go through is to be able to recognize that manipulation and learn not to fall for it.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 457833"] Mog, You are not in the wrong at all..... He is not taking responsibility for not doing what he needs to do. It is a whole lot easier to just blame you for his failures... and it is very manipulative because if he can make you feel guilty for not keeping up your end of the deal, then maybe you will do or get him what he wants. My suggestion is to stop making deals or things he percieves as deals. He is entitled (as a lot of our difficult children are, including mine). You don't owe him anything. Anything you give him should be because you want to, not because you owe it to him. I would come up with something in writing saying the things he needs to do and rules he needs to follow. There is no way you should get him any kind of vehicle without him having a license. And certainly he can't get his license without glasses and without more practice. That is just dangerous for him and others. I think many of us have been in that position where we are totally manipulated by our difficult children.... part of the process we need to go through is to be able to recognize that manipulation and learn not to fall for it. TL [/QUOTE]
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