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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 458010"><p>Gosh yes.... the manipulation and justifying. What you describe was so true of us also and our difficult child. I think our difficult child learned a lot by his experience of being in jail and being homeless. He is much less entitled that he used to be. When we do stuff for him now he is very thankful and appreciative. Now that may be some manipulation but I don't really think so much. He is no longer demanding but asking and he accepts when we say no. He not so long ago was starting to push for us to help him buy a car..... and for all sorts of reasons mentioned there was no way we were doing that. I was very clear about it and said we weren't doing that, we would help him get a bike. I don't think he liked it but he did not get mad (at least to our faces) and accepted it.</p><p></p><p>I think he has learned that life is not so easy and that we don't owe him anything. So now I give him what I feel comfortable giving and can give freely with no strings attached. The other thing is now that he is not living at home, if he gets mad I can walk away, hang up or whatever. I don't need to sit there and take it or put up with his stomping around the house. Life is much calmer than it used to be.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 458010"] Gosh yes.... the manipulation and justifying. What you describe was so true of us also and our difficult child. I think our difficult child learned a lot by his experience of being in jail and being homeless. He is much less entitled that he used to be. When we do stuff for him now he is very thankful and appreciative. Now that may be some manipulation but I don't really think so much. He is no longer demanding but asking and he accepts when we say no. He not so long ago was starting to push for us to help him buy a car..... and for all sorts of reasons mentioned there was no way we were doing that. I was very clear about it and said we weren't doing that, we would help him get a bike. I don't think he liked it but he did not get mad (at least to our faces) and accepted it. I think he has learned that life is not so easy and that we don't owe him anything. So now I give him what I feel comfortable giving and can give freely with no strings attached. The other thing is now that he is not living at home, if he gets mad I can walk away, hang up or whatever. I don't need to sit there and take it or put up with his stomping around the house. Life is much calmer than it used to be. TL [/QUOTE]
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