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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 597307" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I am so sorry Barbara, what a sad tale. I can see why you didn't go to the NAMI meeting. Facing such a harsh and disturbing reality about our children takes some getting used to and some time. I'm curious as to your statement, "in one light, it all seems so reasonable,so hopeful." what do you mean? </p><p></p><p>My daughter has been just about to get a job for 3 years now, somehow your daughter's comment about finding work seems as likely as my daughter's comments. Sigh. It's hard to understand, like you, I hang on those promises, that hope too..............it's getting more and more difficult to believe any of it though. I think we parents are the very last ones to throw in the towel on our difficult child's, we want so much to believe they are going to be okay, in some manner, in some way. My daughter goes down one step at a time, one rung lower, without the thinking process of tomorrow, all there is is today and what is directly in front of her, tomorrow, or even an hour from now, doesn't exist. I just can't take on the planning of her life, the possible disastrous outcomes that could be avoided if only one person was awake to it............she isn't, so must that be my job? Or yours? I think not.</p><p></p><p>Little by little, I am letting it go. Yesterday I left town for a few weeks, SO, granddaughter and I are on vacation. I left my difficult child and told her I needed a break from her continual and unrelenting chaotic drama.........I'm thinking that this represents another level of acceptance. Every step is so hard Barbara. And, yet, so necessary for us. Our daughter's are grown, middle aged women..........it doesn't seem as if they really have an intention to change. As my granddaughter says, all her mother wants is money to continue living as she is, she does not want to change. So, I guess the question becomes, how much money will you give and for how long? There's no rule or guideline or right or wrong, just what you and your husband are willing to do. I do hope you attend those NAMI meetings at some point, to help you, to support you, to give you some peace of mind and some solace. Sending you a big hug, from my wounded heart to yours.............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 597307, member: 13542"] I am so sorry Barbara, what a sad tale. I can see why you didn't go to the NAMI meeting. Facing such a harsh and disturbing reality about our children takes some getting used to and some time. I'm curious as to your statement, "in one light, it all seems so reasonable,so hopeful." what do you mean? My daughter has been just about to get a job for 3 years now, somehow your daughter's comment about finding work seems as likely as my daughter's comments. Sigh. It's hard to understand, like you, I hang on those promises, that hope too..............it's getting more and more difficult to believe any of it though. I think we parents are the very last ones to throw in the towel on our difficult child's, we want so much to believe they are going to be okay, in some manner, in some way. My daughter goes down one step at a time, one rung lower, without the thinking process of tomorrow, all there is is today and what is directly in front of her, tomorrow, or even an hour from now, doesn't exist. I just can't take on the planning of her life, the possible disastrous outcomes that could be avoided if only one person was awake to it............she isn't, so must that be my job? Or yours? I think not. Little by little, I am letting it go. Yesterday I left town for a few weeks, SO, granddaughter and I are on vacation. I left my difficult child and told her I needed a break from her continual and unrelenting chaotic drama.........I'm thinking that this represents another level of acceptance. Every step is so hard Barbara. And, yet, so necessary for us. Our daughter's are grown, middle aged women..........it doesn't seem as if they really have an intention to change. As my granddaughter says, all her mother wants is money to continue living as she is, she does not want to change. So, I guess the question becomes, how much money will you give and for how long? There's no rule or guideline or right or wrong, just what you and your husband are willing to do. I do hope you attend those NAMI meetings at some point, to help you, to support you, to give you some peace of mind and some solace. Sending you a big hug, from my wounded heart to yours............. [/QUOTE]
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