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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 597322" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Recovering, thank you for writing me on your vacation. These are not the things you should be thinking about, now.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand, just like they always do, your comments help me clarify the issues and find a place to stand.</p><p></p><p>What I meant by writing that "what we are doing regarding the money and the storage unit sometimes seems so right and so reasonable" must have to do with holding faith with ourselves that difficult child is going to come out of this. (Thank you for that insight, Signorina.) And I think it is probably the unacknowledged fear (terror/horror) that things aren't looking so good for difficult child that has me whirling away in a high wind, this morning. </p><p></p><p>(Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, Scent of Cedar explains, rolling her eyes at the latest movie analogy. But finding it quite apt, nonetheless.)</p><p></p><p>You are right, Recovering. These are the hard steps, and we do have to take them. The situation is what it is. There is a difference between holding faith that somehow, there is a purpose for what is happening, and the wild, denial-supporting buoyancy of hope that leaves me believing this part is almost over, and things can go back to normal.</p><p></p><p>I will work on loving difficult child where she is, without expectation. </p><p></p><p>I don't know what that looks like.</p><p></p><p>So, there is that shame thing, again. Which explains a lot about how and why I am constructing that pretty wall of denial for myself.</p><p></p><p>And why it felt like my whole world had blown away, when difficult child asked us to send the money Western Union. I had to look at where she is, and with whom.</p><p></p><p>P.U.</p><p></p><p>Better to know, better to see. </p><p></p><p>Thank you, Recovering. </p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 597322, member: 1721"] Recovering, thank you for writing me on your vacation. These are not the things you should be thinking about, now. On the other hand, just like they always do, your comments help me clarify the issues and find a place to stand. What I meant by writing that "what we are doing regarding the money and the storage unit sometimes seems so right and so reasonable" must have to do with holding faith with ourselves that difficult child is going to come out of this. (Thank you for that insight, Signorina.) And I think it is probably the unacknowledged fear (terror/horror) that things aren't looking so good for difficult child that has me whirling away in a high wind, this morning. (Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, Scent of Cedar explains, rolling her eyes at the latest movie analogy. But finding it quite apt, nonetheless.) You are right, Recovering. These are the hard steps, and we do have to take them. The situation is what it is. There is a difference between holding faith that somehow, there is a purpose for what is happening, and the wild, denial-supporting buoyancy of hope that leaves me believing this part is almost over, and things can go back to normal. I will work on loving difficult child where she is, without expectation. I don't know what that looks like. So, there is that shame thing, again. Which explains a lot about how and why I am constructing that pretty wall of denial for myself. And why it felt like my whole world had blown away, when difficult child asked us to send the money Western Union. I had to look at where she is, and with whom. P.U. Better to know, better to see. Thank you, Recovering. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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