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I like that word disentangle!!  I remember the first time someone told me I needed to step back and not enable my son.  I was so mad I remember screaming in my head, hey I am worried my son will die!!! I will do whatever it takes to save him.  That was years ago.  At that time I was completely obsessed with my son, his behaviors, his problems. Since then I have learned what my friend was trying to tell me. I have had to step back.  I have had to disentangle!  And I have learned to live and enjoy my life. However we are still helping my son out financially and emotionally....but only when he is working on himself. It has been a roller coaster journey with times of him helping himself and times of him getting into more serious addiction. At this point I know it may continue to be a roller coaster and we may be helping him on and off for a long time to come.  But I am no longer obsessed with his journey....