I really enjoyed reading that thanks.
I cringe at that word. It is a label that is far too simplistic or maybe overused. Yes I am an enabler. Guess what, many other parents would be too but they escape the title because their kids are going along the right path. One mother might give one or two chances before they cannot tolerate any more. Another mother might give 20, 30, 100 chances before she realizes it isn't going to help.
We are doing our best. Even when we feel labeled, self admonished, ashamed because we know deep down we gave the 20 bucks because it made US feel better in the moment, we are still doing what we can do. If we give a meal, allow a room forva while, pay a fine. We are only human with a limited resume of this thing called life. No one is equipped for the perilous walk on the road of drug addiction and or mental illness. We allow what we can tolerate until it becomes intolerable. Enabling is the correct word but it has many levels and facets in my opinion. Just as every person has limits, so does every relationship. It might take a while for the enabler to come to grips...to give up on their hopes of fixing someone by offering an over abundance of kindness, love, money, resources, whatever.