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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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<blockquote data-quote="elliedeb" data-source="post: 603861" data-attributes="member: 16735"><p>thank you recovering for your response, it confirmed a lot of what i was thinking and feeling.</p><p>Due to how my own health suffering because of how things are i have ended up so isolated, scared and lonely, and feel incapable. I dont have any family and friends i can turn to. </p><p>Looking back, friends and relationships i had, have always been based on me giving and never taking. I always saw the giving as just sharing whether that was financial, emotional or physical. </p><p>I now find myself in the position where i dont feel have anything left to give, and because of this, there seems to be no one who wants me. i do recognise my responsibility in this, and have become so scared of repeating this pattern. Due to lack of self esteem, and finances, i dont know how to start. </p><p>Your response alone, made me feel that i was right in thinking my daughter shows little or no respect for me, </p><p>If i tell her how i feel, she tells me i am being stupid, unreasonable, and only looking for something to argue about, and because i have no one to balance this i was starting to question did she respect me, but i could not see it? When i told her i felt excluded she got angry, and said i was forgetting all the times she had included me. i started to question myself and could not think of the times she was referring to. So i asked her to remind me, her response was loads of times. she would never give me any specific times when she had included me., and any attempts to push this always resulted in her screaming at me that it didnt matter, because i was just picking the times she had not included me. </p><p>This always left me feeling worse, because i was in conflict with myself</p><p>The insecure side of me was thinking, were there times she had included me, and i had not recognised or forgot them? If this is the case, i would happily apologise, and try to be more aware of any inclusion in future. </p><p>The slightly more secure side of me was thinking that if there were times, i was included, then why would she not remind me of these so that i could recognise them? I feel that her off pat answers of loads of times is her way of covering up the fact that she herself cannot think of times she has included me, and to scream it doesnt matter is her way of trying to make me feel guilty for not remembering.</p><p>I know the only way forward is through professionals, but this also terrifies me, because my previous attempts left me feeling worse than i did when i started. My GP makes me feel like a useless person for not being able to cope. When i first told him i was finding it hard to get up, get dressed and go out, he told me that was being ridiculous, and had to do these things. He did refer me to counselling, but this was time limited to one session a week for 6 weeks, and this was only to address issues about getting me to go out of the home. My bad experiences prevent me from searching for help, my reason for coming here, was so i could start to look for a way out of my situation, and hopefully the support i have received so far will help me make that move</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elliedeb, post: 603861, member: 16735"] thank you recovering for your response, it confirmed a lot of what i was thinking and feeling. Due to how my own health suffering because of how things are i have ended up so isolated, scared and lonely, and feel incapable. I dont have any family and friends i can turn to. Looking back, friends and relationships i had, have always been based on me giving and never taking. I always saw the giving as just sharing whether that was financial, emotional or physical. I now find myself in the position where i dont feel have anything left to give, and because of this, there seems to be no one who wants me. i do recognise my responsibility in this, and have become so scared of repeating this pattern. Due to lack of self esteem, and finances, i dont know how to start. Your response alone, made me feel that i was right in thinking my daughter shows little or no respect for me, If i tell her how i feel, she tells me i am being stupid, unreasonable, and only looking for something to argue about, and because i have no one to balance this i was starting to question did she respect me, but i could not see it? When i told her i felt excluded she got angry, and said i was forgetting all the times she had included me. i started to question myself and could not think of the times she was referring to. So i asked her to remind me, her response was loads of times. she would never give me any specific times when she had included me., and any attempts to push this always resulted in her screaming at me that it didnt matter, because i was just picking the times she had not included me. This always left me feeling worse, because i was in conflict with myself The insecure side of me was thinking, were there times she had included me, and i had not recognised or forgot them? If this is the case, i would happily apologise, and try to be more aware of any inclusion in future. The slightly more secure side of me was thinking that if there were times, i was included, then why would she not remind me of these so that i could recognise them? I feel that her off pat answers of loads of times is her way of covering up the fact that she herself cannot think of times she has included me, and to scream it doesnt matter is her way of trying to make me feel guilty for not remembering. I know the only way forward is through professionals, but this also terrifies me, because my previous attempts left me feeling worse than i did when i started. My GP makes me feel like a useless person for not being able to cope. When i first told him i was finding it hard to get up, get dressed and go out, he told me that was being ridiculous, and had to do these things. He did refer me to counselling, but this was time limited to one session a week for 6 weeks, and this was only to address issues about getting me to go out of the home. My bad experiences prevent me from searching for help, my reason for coming here, was so i could start to look for a way out of my situation, and hopefully the support i have received so far will help me make that move [/QUOTE]
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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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