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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 604255" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Janet, if she has a disability of some kind, she probably would have said so. I am assuming, unless she says otherwise, that she can do other things, but just hasn't. I know it's not possible for some.</p><p></p><p>My mom was really mean to me and was not a big part of my life. My own attitude from years and years of therapy is that if people aren't nice to you (and loony doesn't mean they are mean...just a bit crazy<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />) that it is better not to have much to do with them, DNA or not. And that's why my mom and I had little to do with each other. She was terribly abusive to me and finally I just said "See ya later" and it didn't bother her one bit. We were toxic to each other and did better apart and shes didn't even want to be a part of my kid's lives, which was to their advantage...lol. All sitluations are different.</p><p></p><p> This woman's child is not wanting her to be in her life that much and they are constantly fighting. She is asking what she can do about it. There is nothing she can do about it. You know you can't control other people, even your kids. It may hurt you, but that won't make the adult child include you. That is out of one's control.</p><p></p><p> You are fortunate that you get along well with your kids. It's really a different relationship and you do have to do things differently if your children reject you. It does hurt, but you have to go on or drive them further away and feel constantly depressed. It's not a choice that many of us have had. The decision is often made by the child. I have one kid who walked off, one who I sometimes don't even want to talk to because he can get so nasty, and three who are great. I can not control any of them. It is what it is. I practice acceptance and value my own life apart from all of my kids so that I'm NOT that clinging mother who has nothing to do but hang around with my kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 604255, member: 1550"] Janet, if she has a disability of some kind, she probably would have said so. I am assuming, unless she says otherwise, that she can do other things, but just hasn't. I know it's not possible for some. My mom was really mean to me and was not a big part of my life. My own attitude from years and years of therapy is that if people aren't nice to you (and loony doesn't mean they are mean...just a bit crazy:)) that it is better not to have much to do with them, DNA or not. And that's why my mom and I had little to do with each other. She was terribly abusive to me and finally I just said "See ya later" and it didn't bother her one bit. We were toxic to each other and did better apart and shes didn't even want to be a part of my kid's lives, which was to their advantage...lol. All sitluations are different. This woman's child is not wanting her to be in her life that much and they are constantly fighting. She is asking what she can do about it. There is nothing she can do about it. You know you can't control other people, even your kids. It may hurt you, but that won't make the adult child include you. That is out of one's control. You are fortunate that you get along well with your kids. It's really a different relationship and you do have to do things differently if your children reject you. It does hurt, but you have to go on or drive them further away and feel constantly depressed. It's not a choice that many of us have had. The decision is often made by the child. I have one kid who walked off, one who I sometimes don't even want to talk to because he can get so nasty, and three who are great. I can not control any of them. It is what it is. I practice acceptance and value my own life apart from all of my kids so that I'm NOT that clinging mother who has nothing to do but hang around with my kids. [/QUOTE]
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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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