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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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<blockquote data-quote="ruppertk" data-source="post: 622400" data-attributes="member: 17770"><p>I felt compelled to create an account here to reply to this post, it has certainly hit home. I am an enabler coming out from under my rock and once you realize it, there is no going back. Through this unveiling I lost my husband and my grown daughter(21 not quite grown), I would say temporarily. (daughter anyway) A great friend of mine told me this, once you are aware and choose to make some changes in yourself for yourself you must know that some people are not going to like this change and some will go away. My friend told me this way before the great divide took place and I remember her words as it is so true. I have trained people how to treat me for a long time and I can see where they might not understand this change. they will expect the old you to always do what you've always done they have no idea that it wasn't working for me as I was just an enabler, trying to not rock the boat, keeping the peace and being the doormat. All the while I am securing everyone elses so called happiness thinking one day they will get back to me. Today me and my daughter do not speak, everytime there is communication she proceeds to tell me all about myself and comes up with anything hurtful she can think of. I now just repeat myself in a matter of fact way, I will not be treated this way, I will not beg or bow down to this kind of treatment, thank you but no thank you. her father divorced me and married another in the same month about a year and half ago.(we were married 13 yrs) My daughter while she has no use for me at all has taken to the new lady.</p><p>I think to myself often, wow I treated myself so badly that she has no problem doing it to me as well.</p><p>There is so much truth in "if you don't love yourself no one can either"</p><p>This has not been an easy journey but since I can see now theres no place to go but up. There is a flame in all of us once we start to fan it you can feel the power of it.</p><p>No can also mean love. I love me too much to allow this and I love you too much to watch you do it.</p><p>I wish you the best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ruppertk, post: 622400, member: 17770"] I felt compelled to create an account here to reply to this post, it has certainly hit home. I am an enabler coming out from under my rock and once you realize it, there is no going back. Through this unveiling I lost my husband and my grown daughter(21 not quite grown), I would say temporarily. (daughter anyway) A great friend of mine told me this, once you are aware and choose to make some changes in yourself for yourself you must know that some people are not going to like this change and some will go away. My friend told me this way before the great divide took place and I remember her words as it is so true. I have trained people how to treat me for a long time and I can see where they might not understand this change. they will expect the old you to always do what you've always done they have no idea that it wasn't working for me as I was just an enabler, trying to not rock the boat, keeping the peace and being the doormat. All the while I am securing everyone elses so called happiness thinking one day they will get back to me. Today me and my daughter do not speak, everytime there is communication she proceeds to tell me all about myself and comes up with anything hurtful she can think of. I now just repeat myself in a matter of fact way, I will not be treated this way, I will not beg or bow down to this kind of treatment, thank you but no thank you. her father divorced me and married another in the same month about a year and half ago.(we were married 13 yrs) My daughter while she has no use for me at all has taken to the new lady. I think to myself often, wow I treated myself so badly that she has no problem doing it to me as well. There is so much truth in "if you don't love yourself no one can either" This has not been an easy journey but since I can see now theres no place to go but up. There is a flame in all of us once we start to fan it you can feel the power of it. No can also mean love. I love me too much to allow this and I love you too much to watch you do it. I wish you the best. [/QUOTE]
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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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