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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 681460" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Dufster, welcome to the forum. I am so sorry for your need to be here.</p><p> This is difficult for any mom, especially when we are older, and just want our family to get along. We have visions of the Norman Rockwell family dinner, but somehow it doesn't happen.</p><p> I don't know what to say here, except that these are two adults. It is really up to younger sister to figure things out for herself. I am the younger sister in my family. I have reviewed my past in the FOO forum, to work through some old wounds that were reopened when my two went off the rails. For me, growing up was a challenge with my older sister, she was very controlling. It was more than sibling rivalry. It was bullying. I am a highly sensitive person, so I am sure, this played a large role in the confusion of it all. I don't know the particulars of your daughters situation. Have you spoken with the younger one about your feelings? I had a falling out with my sister a few years back and took a break. I reassured my mom that I loved her, but just had to process things.</p><p> Sometimes people grow older and grow apart from one another. It is hard to know what is going on between your two, perhaps there are some old wounds that need healing with the younger and she can't see herself on the same table. I am sorry for the pain of this Dufster.</p><p></p><p>The thing is, these are two adults. Though your older girl would like a relationship with her sister, it is really up to the younger to work through whatever she needs to. I think the only thing you could try, if she is willing, is to talk with her so you could have a better understanding of the underlying issue.</p><p></p><p>This is not good that it is affecting your health.With concern, gently, I encourage you to seek help. I went to counseling when I couldn't process what was going on with my two. It was very helpful to have a face to face session with a professional who could help me walk through my emotions, I began to recognize my patterns of response and make moves to change. One of the biggest things you will find here on CD, is that there are many heart wrenching situations that are out of our control. </p><p>Finding ways to deal with this is really important to our own growth and peace.</p><p>The only control we have is over ourselves, how we think and feel about things.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry for your heartache over this Dufster. Sometimes life throws us some really hard curveballs.</p><p></p><p>Please take care, you have value and you matter.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. You may, or may not want to start your own thread, this is a very old one. Sometimes more folks will respond to newer threads. Up to you though.</p><p></p><p>One day at a time.</p><p>More will come along and reply.</p><p>You are not alone.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 681460, member: 19522"] Hi Dufster, welcome to the forum. I am so sorry for your need to be here. This is difficult for any mom, especially when we are older, and just want our family to get along. We have visions of the Norman Rockwell family dinner, but somehow it doesn't happen. I don't know what to say here, except that these are two adults. It is really up to younger sister to figure things out for herself. I am the younger sister in my family. I have reviewed my past in the FOO forum, to work through some old wounds that were reopened when my two went off the rails. For me, growing up was a challenge with my older sister, she was very controlling. It was more than sibling rivalry. It was bullying. I am a highly sensitive person, so I am sure, this played a large role in the confusion of it all. I don't know the particulars of your daughters situation. Have you spoken with the younger one about your feelings? I had a falling out with my sister a few years back and took a break. I reassured my mom that I loved her, but just had to process things. Sometimes people grow older and grow apart from one another. It is hard to know what is going on between your two, perhaps there are some old wounds that need healing with the younger and she can't see herself on the same table. I am sorry for the pain of this Dufster. The thing is, these are two adults. Though your older girl would like a relationship with her sister, it is really up to the younger to work through whatever she needs to. I think the only thing you could try, if she is willing, is to talk with her so you could have a better understanding of the underlying issue. This is not good that it is affecting your health.With concern, gently, I encourage you to seek help. I went to counseling when I couldn't process what was going on with my two. It was very helpful to have a face to face session with a professional who could help me walk through my emotions, I began to recognize my patterns of response and make moves to change. One of the biggest things you will find here on CD, is that there are many heart wrenching situations that are out of our control. Finding ways to deal with this is really important to our own growth and peace. The only control we have is over ourselves, how we think and feel about things. I am sorry for your heartache over this Dufster. Sometimes life throws us some really hard curveballs. Please take care, you have value and you matter. Keep posting. You may, or may not want to start your own thread, this is a very old one. Sometimes more folks will respond to newer threads. Up to you though. One day at a time. More will come along and reply. You are not alone. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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