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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
What if "IT" never gets better? Or, it gets worse?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 565220"><p>Sig - So I think from all you have said about your difficult child that there is a lot of hope... he has a lot going for him, has had a lot of success in his past and I think he is trying to find himself and his independence and his drug use is a misguided part of that. So I do think he may grow out of this whole thing and turn things around... and I think all the sides you are seeing in him are real and that what you are seeing is his own confusion as he is trying to work out within himself of who he is. </p><p></p><p>So given all that I think part of your process has to be letting go as much as you can. I think he needs to be respectful while living with you, and he to follow your basic rules in your house. I think there is a lot you cant control and the more you can back off from questioning him, playing detective, and trying to control what he does, the better you will be and the better your relationship will be.</p><p></p><p>I have wondered a lot what if IT never gets better. I think my difficult child has much less going for him than yours does. The truth is with my difficult child IT may never get better. I am coming to terms with that although I certainly dont like the idea at all. For me it really is about giving up control and realizing there really is nothing I can do to turn his life around, ALL I can do is to continue to let him know I love him and I am here for him (but will not enable him). And then I need to keep on living my own life and finding things in life that I love and enjoy.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 565220"] Sig - So I think from all you have said about your difficult child that there is a lot of hope... he has a lot going for him, has had a lot of success in his past and I think he is trying to find himself and his independence and his drug use is a misguided part of that. So I do think he may grow out of this whole thing and turn things around... and I think all the sides you are seeing in him are real and that what you are seeing is his own confusion as he is trying to work out within himself of who he is. So given all that I think part of your process has to be letting go as much as you can. I think he needs to be respectful while living with you, and he to follow your basic rules in your house. I think there is a lot you cant control and the more you can back off from questioning him, playing detective, and trying to control what he does, the better you will be and the better your relationship will be. I have wondered a lot what if IT never gets better. I think my difficult child has much less going for him than yours does. The truth is with my difficult child IT may never get better. I am coming to terms with that although I certainly dont like the idea at all. For me it really is about giving up control and realizing there really is nothing I can do to turn his life around, ALL I can do is to continue to let him know I love him and I am here for him (but will not enable him). And then I need to keep on living my own life and finding things in life that I love and enjoy. TL [/QUOTE]
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What if "IT" never gets better? Or, it gets worse?
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