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Substance Abuse
What if "IT" never gets better? Or, it gets worse?
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 565788" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I understand your fear, your pain, your disappointment and likely your other emotions too. My perspective is not the same as many in our family and I rarely advocate for the "kick em out" method. on the other hand I understand that there has to be zero tolerance for violence, drug use in the family home and totally disruptive behaviors. Those are givens.</p><p></p><p>on the other hand I believe that alot of our difficult child's (particularly boys) are behind the curve in maturity and emotional development. In the cases where pot and other drug use was introduced in the teen years, in my humble opinion, there is stunted development. Instead of going through the standard pain and frustration of youth they hid from any unpleasantness by living in a haze where nothing was demanded of them by themselves. Getting by was the goal.</p><p></p><p>Then, I believe, if they are lucky enough to have a normal loving family they need to draw strength from that normalcy to shore up their inner feelings of being losers. They don't want to be life failures. They have peers who have stayed the course and are functioning healthily. Thy're in a fight with themselves that they can't win without respite at home. For some it takes a couple of years and for others it takes longer....but if they are making any progress I think it is something to be thankful for in your heart.</p><p></p><p>Your emotions are normal and many of us have been there done that. He is not meeting your expectations or his own but he is seeking the comfort of home, following the rules, and soaking up the love. If he sees that you and the other family members are functioning in a positive way...it will serve as an example that he, too, can make it. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 565788, member: 35"] I understand your fear, your pain, your disappointment and likely your other emotions too. My perspective is not the same as many in our family and I rarely advocate for the "kick em out" method. on the other hand I understand that there has to be zero tolerance for violence, drug use in the family home and totally disruptive behaviors. Those are givens. on the other hand I believe that alot of our difficult child's (particularly boys) are behind the curve in maturity and emotional development. In the cases where pot and other drug use was introduced in the teen years, in my humble opinion, there is stunted development. Instead of going through the standard pain and frustration of youth they hid from any unpleasantness by living in a haze where nothing was demanded of them by themselves. Getting by was the goal. Then, I believe, if they are lucky enough to have a normal loving family they need to draw strength from that normalcy to shore up their inner feelings of being losers. They don't want to be life failures. They have peers who have stayed the course and are functioning healthily. Thy're in a fight with themselves that they can't win without respite at home. For some it takes a couple of years and for others it takes longer....but if they are making any progress I think it is something to be thankful for in your heart. Your emotions are normal and many of us have been there done that. He is not meeting your expectations or his own but he is seeking the comfort of home, following the rules, and soaking up the love. If he sees that you and the other family members are functioning in a positive way...it will serve as an example that he, too, can make it. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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What if "IT" never gets better? Or, it gets worse?
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