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<blockquote data-quote="Misssy2" data-source="post: 745039" data-attributes="member: 23537"><p>Seems they are "stuck" in this dynamic. If she doesn't get the support she needs to speak up to her son...than this will never change.</p><p></p><p>My son I believe to have that interminted explosive disorder..but the times I have been able to have heart to hearts with him..he knows his behavior is out of line...but the thing IS your friend needs some counseling on how to even BEGIN to start gaining respect from her son.</p><p></p><p>I have worked with my therapist for 2 years on how to get my son just to a level where he is finally starting to respect ME.</p><p></p><p>I had to get brave and not allow him to talk to me the way he was talking to me...I remember the ONE DAY I broke thru to him...He was talking disrespectfully to me..telling me I was stupid (it had something to do with me cooking) and why would I even think what I did would work? And what a waste of money...Etc.. He wasn't swearing or anything but his TONE was very demeaning....and disgusted and made me feel SMALL.</p><p></p><p>I remember how scared I was but I had to speak up.... looked up at him and I said..."Dereck the way you talk to me is abusive and I don't want abuse in my life".</p><p></p><p>Because I spoke up he was dumbfounded and EXPLODED he said ...I will move the F out of here faster than you can imagine and then you can be alone and have lost the rest of your family! BOY did that HURT...</p><p></p><p>But, I stood strong...knowing that he was just reacting to me in this way because he wanted to intimidate me and put me back in the "place" where he had me that was comfortable...</p><p></p><p>And I stood strong and SAID....Thats fine if you want to leave Dereck...losing people that abuse me is nothing but good for me.</p><p></p><p>I said it calmly....He stormed off downstairs...</p><p></p><p>About an hour later...He came upstairs and said he was sorry.....He has changed ALOT since that day....</p><p></p><p>But I would not have gotten there...if I did not set a boundry of how I wanted to be treated..and I could not get here alone..I needed a therapist and again it took a long time....She needs help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Misssy2, post: 745039, member: 23537"] Seems they are "stuck" in this dynamic. If she doesn't get the support she needs to speak up to her son...than this will never change. My son I believe to have that interminted explosive disorder..but the times I have been able to have heart to hearts with him..he knows his behavior is out of line...but the thing IS your friend needs some counseling on how to even BEGIN to start gaining respect from her son. I have worked with my therapist for 2 years on how to get my son just to a level where he is finally starting to respect ME. I had to get brave and not allow him to talk to me the way he was talking to me...I remember the ONE DAY I broke thru to him...He was talking disrespectfully to me..telling me I was stupid (it had something to do with me cooking) and why would I even think what I did would work? And what a waste of money...Etc.. He wasn't swearing or anything but his TONE was very demeaning....and disgusted and made me feel SMALL. I remember how scared I was but I had to speak up.... looked up at him and I said..."Dereck the way you talk to me is abusive and I don't want abuse in my life". Because I spoke up he was dumbfounded and EXPLODED he said ...I will move the F out of here faster than you can imagine and then you can be alone and have lost the rest of your family! BOY did that HURT... But, I stood strong...knowing that he was just reacting to me in this way because he wanted to intimidate me and put me back in the "place" where he had me that was comfortable... And I stood strong and SAID....Thats fine if you want to leave Dereck...losing people that abuse me is nothing but good for me. I said it calmly....He stormed off downstairs... About an hour later...He came upstairs and said he was sorry.....He has changed ALOT since that day.... But I would not have gotten there...if I did not set a boundry of how I wanted to be treated..and I could not get here alone..I needed a therapist and again it took a long time....She needs help. [/QUOTE]
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