I'm sure I'd find it hard even if my son had money, but he doesn't. He doesn't have many choices as the shelter only takes people in the cold unless they're long-term and since he got kicked out in January he can't go back for a year.
But I recognize that he has no money because he didn't get a job. So in the end...it's still his fault. 
Cedar, your post went wonky...hope this works:
She's not a mom. Just a weird woman who apparently likes boy-toys...until she doesn't anymore. I do know she's moved in another young man...apparently my kid's replacement. Strange situation.
Gaslighting? No...I don't think that's what this is. Exaggeration? Maybe. He is prone to gloom and doom...and he definitely has issues with what other people think of him. He says that she told him he was too needy and followed her around like a puppy. The thing last night, he told me he just wanted to talk to her and find out why she's being like she is toward him...he does have a way of not letting go, like a dog with a bone. Maybe that's it...he won't just let go.
I can't make the choice to have him home because it's not just my home and I'd never ask it of Jabber, even short term. Not that he doesn't love our son. He does very much I'm sure. But he's ... better? ... than I am with this whole thing. I haven't gotten the detachment down yet.
If our son was just angry and mean and defiant. If he was just doped up all the time or said mean and nasty things. If he wasn't just so SAD all the time....I could detach from mean and nasty and angry. I'm not making much progress in that direction with sad and lonely and lost.
