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What is forgiveness? What does it really mean?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 640885" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>For me, forgiveness is freedom, I am releasing the other person from holding my emotions hostage. My first act of forgiveness was when I was 16. My bio-father sexually abused me from age 2 till 7 when my mother found out what he was doing and got me and my sisters away from him. He died when I was 13. When my mom found out what was going on she had me and my sisters go to counseling. The counseling made me aware that what he was doing was wrong and that it was in no way my fault. He had convinced me that this was "normal" for how daddy's showed their love so when I learned it was anything but I was angry and hurt. When he died my anger grew because I didn't have a chance to confront him about what he had done to me. When I was 16 I went to visit my grandmother (bio-father's mother) she lived in another state and that was also where my bio-father was buried. I went to his grave. I sat on his grave and started beating my fists into the ground, screaming and crying, all the hurt and anger exploded out of me. I'm not sure how long this went on but then a calm came over me and I sat quietly on his grave and I told him that I forgave him, that I was leaving all my pain and anger there.</p><p>I have also forgiven my difficult child for all the hell and chaos he put me through. Forgiveness is for me so that I can let go and move on. Forgiveness is a way to sever an unhealthy bond between people to stop the flow of negative energy.</p><p>Just because you forgive someone does not mean you forget, it means you let go of the pain but you learn from it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 640885, member: 18516"] For me, forgiveness is freedom, I am releasing the other person from holding my emotions hostage. My first act of forgiveness was when I was 16. My bio-father sexually abused me from age 2 till 7 when my mother found out what he was doing and got me and my sisters away from him. He died when I was 13. When my mom found out what was going on she had me and my sisters go to counseling. The counseling made me aware that what he was doing was wrong and that it was in no way my fault. He had convinced me that this was "normal" for how daddy's showed their love so when I learned it was anything but I was angry and hurt. When he died my anger grew because I didn't have a chance to confront him about what he had done to me. When I was 16 I went to visit my grandmother (bio-father's mother) she lived in another state and that was also where my bio-father was buried. I went to his grave. I sat on his grave and started beating my fists into the ground, screaming and crying, all the hurt and anger exploded out of me. I'm not sure how long this went on but then a calm came over me and I sat quietly on his grave and I told him that I forgave him, that I was leaving all my pain and anger there. I have also forgiven my difficult child for all the hell and chaos he put me through. Forgiveness is for me so that I can let go and move on. Forgiveness is a way to sever an unhealthy bond between people to stop the flow of negative energy. Just because you forgive someone does not mean you forget, it means you let go of the pain but you learn from it. [/QUOTE]
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