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General Parenting
What is the right thing to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 137909" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi there - </p><p></p><p>What is it that he is doing at xmil's that is of concern to you? </p><p></p><p>He is off the street. </p><p>He has stuff to eat. </p><p>He is going to school. </p><p></p><p>If he gets into trouble IRREGARDLESS at 16 in Michigan he is considered an adult. If he would go to court - he would get tried as an adult, and more than likely be held in a juvenille section of an Adult county jail. I don't see where you could be held liable for any of his 'alleged' misbehaviors. </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure I follow what you are trying to accomplish by having him come back home. He isnt' going to change unless he wants to and now that he's had that "teenage being grownup" thing for 2 weeks - it's going to be harder to get him to comply. And he won't - so stop trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. It will ONLY frustrate you further. </p><p></p><p>If you miss him and feel you have to have him back home after what you have described - I'd seek a therapist out to help me formulate a plan. But absolutely no more "treats" of any kind monitarily or otherwise - if he's on his own - he is ON his own. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes tough love seems harder on us parents than it does on our kids -but if you really really and truly let it happen one of 3 things will occur. Either he'll get so tired of doing it his way - he'll ask to come home. </p><p>He'll never come home and have a life of living off others. </p><p>He'll not come home but mature and support himself. </p><p></p><p>But if you try 1/2 Tough love strategy on him and give in when it's too hard for YOU (because sis I guarantee he's not hurting like you are) then it all goes south - and nothing is accomplished. </p><p></p><p>Time for some what do I really want? What can we practically do? Talks. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 137909, member: 4964"] Hi there - What is it that he is doing at xmil's that is of concern to you? He is off the street. He has stuff to eat. He is going to school. If he gets into trouble IRREGARDLESS at 16 in Michigan he is considered an adult. If he would go to court - he would get tried as an adult, and more than likely be held in a juvenille section of an Adult county jail. I don't see where you could be held liable for any of his 'alleged' misbehaviors. I'm not sure I follow what you are trying to accomplish by having him come back home. He isnt' going to change unless he wants to and now that he's had that "teenage being grownup" thing for 2 weeks - it's going to be harder to get him to comply. And he won't - so stop trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. It will ONLY frustrate you further. If you miss him and feel you have to have him back home after what you have described - I'd seek a therapist out to help me formulate a plan. But absolutely no more "treats" of any kind monitarily or otherwise - if he's on his own - he is ON his own. Sometimes tough love seems harder on us parents than it does on our kids -but if you really really and truly let it happen one of 3 things will occur. Either he'll get so tired of doing it his way - he'll ask to come home. He'll never come home and have a life of living off others. He'll not come home but mature and support himself. But if you try 1/2 Tough love strategy on him and give in when it's too hard for YOU (because sis I guarantee he's not hurting like you are) then it all goes south - and nothing is accomplished. Time for some what do I really want? What can we practically do? Talks. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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