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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 330617" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Maybe. It's worth checking out.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Again, worth checking out but as you said, he seemed a lot less damaged than most. However, some degree of attachment problem is almost inevitable.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>There are a lot of other possibilities which, given your descriptions, I feel are more likely. Observe his mood changes and try to get inside his head. Can you find reasons, from HIS point of view, for the mood changes? It's sometimes worth asking him, too, why he feels a particular way. Because if HE has reasons which he can state for feeling happy, sad, angry - then chances are, it's less likely to be bipolar.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yep. It's cheaper to do it sooner rather than later, for all of you.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I know you're being flippant, but seriously - I found that having even one drink while the kids were still out of bed, greatly reduced my ability to cope with them. I learned to wait to have my drink until AFTER I got the kids settled for the night.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I respect your scepticism. However, the more you tell us, the more I feel that autism needs to be high on the list of things to consider. Your description of him shoving his hands in the containers of beans at the shop, for example - oh, that sounds so typical! It's Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) type stuff again. difficult child 3 has his collection of things he likes to do, that he gravitates to. Basically, small round things, things that can fall (especially in interesting ways such as a ball race that operates like a fairground ride), bubbles, clods of earth dropped on a path, droplets of oil, lava lamps, waves by the sea (or water in many forms especially falling water such as waterfalls or fountains), marbles and marble mazes, and finally - packets of beans or rice or similar. It soothes him greatly, he takes a lot of joy in these things. He can stare at them for hours, or fiddle with them for hours. he's always fiddling with things, his fingers are never still. His pockets are full of rubbish, sticks, stones or shells he collects while walking around. Bottle caps, broken bits of plastic, anything shiny. </p><p></p><p></p><p>YOu still haven't got a firm diagnosis, so all you can treat with medications is the symptoms. Plus a lot of symptoms are not medication-treatable. There are other ways but again - a diagnosis makes it a lot easier to know what to do.</p><p>When it comes to choosing the best medications for the problem, Temple Grandin said it well. She said to look for the WOW factor. IN other words, if you try something and you don't notice a significant change, a sort of, "Wow! What a difference that makes!" reaction, then chances are it's not worth the trouble to use that medication (or therapy, or whatever it is).</p><p></p><p>A thought for you to consider - you've mentioned possible Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), plus some of us are thinking possible autism in some form. So how is he with being held firmly, especially if he is in control of the strength of the pressure? I used to put my hand on difficult child 3's face at times when he as feeling anxious (and at other times too, of course) and he would sometimes grab my hand and move it a little to the place he preferred me to hold him. He would press my hand on more firmly at times. When he'd had enough he would take my hand away or move away.</p><p>We bought a weighted vest for him, plus difficult child 1 also tried it out. We found some weights and difficult child 1 sometimes would lie on his bed on his back and rest the weights on his chest. Or they might like to be tucked into bed very tightly, because they find it comforting.</p><p>I mentioned how easy child 2/difficult child 2 was (and still is) very snuggly. It's in the sig, in fact. She often would ask to be held firmly. Then in her late teens when she was also embracing the Goth look, she discovered a shop in Sydney that makes genuine corsets. She bought a couple and began lacing herself into tight corsets. She loves to wear them tightly laced, she says "it's like wearing a hug." It calms her down.</p><p></p><p>If this is something that can help your difficult child, that still doesn't mean he has autism. But it is a possible therapy to consider, one he can control himself to a certain extent. It's also something you can experiment with yourselves, to find something he likes that soothes him. You can experiment together and maybe get easy child to join in too, find out what easy child likes. Because liking something such as this doesn't mean he's abnormal. It's OK to be different especially if you can find a socially acceptable way to cope a bit better.</p><p></p><p>It seems you've summarised the information down to some very clear basics. From here it would help you to take notes, keep a diary of sorts so when you finally do get an appointment with someone for him, you have some notes to share that can help shed light on the range of problems you are having with him.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 330617, member: 1991"] Maybe. It's worth checking out. Again, worth checking out but as you said, he seemed a lot less damaged than most. However, some degree of attachment problem is almost inevitable. There are a lot of other possibilities which, given your descriptions, I feel are more likely. Observe his mood changes and try to get inside his head. Can you find reasons, from HIS point of view, for the mood changes? It's sometimes worth asking him, too, why he feels a particular way. Because if HE has reasons which he can state for feeling happy, sad, angry - then chances are, it's less likely to be bipolar. Yep. It's cheaper to do it sooner rather than later, for all of you. I know you're being flippant, but seriously - I found that having even one drink while the kids were still out of bed, greatly reduced my ability to cope with them. I learned to wait to have my drink until AFTER I got the kids settled for the night. I respect your scepticism. However, the more you tell us, the more I feel that autism needs to be high on the list of things to consider. Your description of him shoving his hands in the containers of beans at the shop, for example - oh, that sounds so typical! It's Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) type stuff again. difficult child 3 has his collection of things he likes to do, that he gravitates to. Basically, small round things, things that can fall (especially in interesting ways such as a ball race that operates like a fairground ride), bubbles, clods of earth dropped on a path, droplets of oil, lava lamps, waves by the sea (or water in many forms especially falling water such as waterfalls or fountains), marbles and marble mazes, and finally - packets of beans or rice or similar. It soothes him greatly, he takes a lot of joy in these things. He can stare at them for hours, or fiddle with them for hours. he's always fiddling with things, his fingers are never still. His pockets are full of rubbish, sticks, stones or shells he collects while walking around. Bottle caps, broken bits of plastic, anything shiny. YOu still haven't got a firm diagnosis, so all you can treat with medications is the symptoms. Plus a lot of symptoms are not medication-treatable. There are other ways but again - a diagnosis makes it a lot easier to know what to do. When it comes to choosing the best medications for the problem, Temple Grandin said it well. She said to look for the WOW factor. IN other words, if you try something and you don't notice a significant change, a sort of, "Wow! What a difference that makes!" reaction, then chances are it's not worth the trouble to use that medication (or therapy, or whatever it is). A thought for you to consider - you've mentioned possible Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), plus some of us are thinking possible autism in some form. So how is he with being held firmly, especially if he is in control of the strength of the pressure? I used to put my hand on difficult child 3's face at times when he as feeling anxious (and at other times too, of course) and he would sometimes grab my hand and move it a little to the place he preferred me to hold him. He would press my hand on more firmly at times. When he'd had enough he would take my hand away or move away. We bought a weighted vest for him, plus difficult child 1 also tried it out. We found some weights and difficult child 1 sometimes would lie on his bed on his back and rest the weights on his chest. Or they might like to be tucked into bed very tightly, because they find it comforting. I mentioned how easy child 2/difficult child 2 was (and still is) very snuggly. It's in the sig, in fact. She often would ask to be held firmly. Then in her late teens when she was also embracing the Goth look, she discovered a shop in Sydney that makes genuine corsets. She bought a couple and began lacing herself into tight corsets. She loves to wear them tightly laced, she says "it's like wearing a hug." It calms her down. If this is something that can help your difficult child, that still doesn't mean he has autism. But it is a possible therapy to consider, one he can control himself to a certain extent. It's also something you can experiment with yourselves, to find something he likes that soothes him. You can experiment together and maybe get easy child to join in too, find out what easy child likes. Because liking something such as this doesn't mean he's abnormal. It's OK to be different especially if you can find a socially acceptable way to cope a bit better. It seems you've summarised the information down to some very clear basics. From here it would help you to take notes, keep a diary of sorts so when you finally do get an appointment with someone for him, you have some notes to share that can help shed light on the range of problems you are having with him. Marg [/QUOTE]
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