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Oh thank you Leafy...you always know just what to say.  I have recovered from my achillea surgery and can walk without pain now. Thank the Lord.  I hate this feeling of being afraid to have contact with my son...it feels so abnormal.  Sometimes I just want to leave and not tell anyone but I know that is not going to happen.  My husband is so supportive but he says he is done with my son.  He is his step-father. He does not have any children.  Can't say I blame him.  My daughter and my husband and the grandchildren have good relationships. I just wish my son could get his life together.  He is 44 years old!  Will it ever get better with my son or will I never have contact with him again?