Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What is wrong with me?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 677696" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Okiegirl, you are depressed, I think. It is all too much. I went to bed for 2 years. I had had enough. Nothing could get me up. I am still not there yet. Little by little. I have no stamina to deal with my son. He asked to come home for one night. I said no. I do not call him. I set strict rules on phone calls. What he can talk about. Etc. So I am doing what you are doing.</p><p></p><p>We get battered and battered and cannot take any more.</p><p></p><p>He did show up at my door and I let him in. It is so hard. We love them so. It is hard for me to face that it does not change. A little but not enough.</p><p></p><p>We are all in this together. I agree with Cedar. Our loving them did not help. They need to do this on their own. If we do not protect ourselves first, we are disrespecting ourselves and them. We did not raise them to be men who would abuse their mothers. We cannot let them. By retreating you are protecting himself.</p><p></p><p>I am hard on myself like you. Stop it. I will stop it. You stop it too.</p><p></p><p>Finally, I worked in prisons 20 years and before that in a County with a bad, bad meth problem. It is very hard to quit but people do. I have seen people turn themselves around in prison. It is sad because sometimes they are grateful to be incarcerated because there, without the meth, they have a chance to live their real lives, be themselves. </p><p></p><p>Meth is hard to quit because of how it alters the brain. There is a meth psychosis that lingers, that makes quitting hard. In most people it seems to go away with time.</p><p></p><p>Your guilt and worrying will not help. It does not help him. Only separating does. Because if we do have contact with them we are swept up in it with them, and they lose all respect for even us. That is not good. </p><p></p><p>Now is the time to heal. Please. I hope you post regularly. We are all in this together.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 677696, member: 18958"] Okiegirl, you are depressed, I think. It is all too much. I went to bed for 2 years. I had had enough. Nothing could get me up. I am still not there yet. Little by little. I have no stamina to deal with my son. He asked to come home for one night. I said no. I do not call him. I set strict rules on phone calls. What he can talk about. Etc. So I am doing what you are doing. We get battered and battered and cannot take any more. He did show up at my door and I let him in. It is so hard. We love them so. It is hard for me to face that it does not change. A little but not enough. We are all in this together. I agree with Cedar. Our loving them did not help. They need to do this on their own. If we do not protect ourselves first, we are disrespecting ourselves and them. We did not raise them to be men who would abuse their mothers. We cannot let them. By retreating you are protecting himself. I am hard on myself like you. Stop it. I will stop it. You stop it too. Finally, I worked in prisons 20 years and before that in a County with a bad, bad meth problem. It is very hard to quit but people do. I have seen people turn themselves around in prison. It is sad because sometimes they are grateful to be incarcerated because there, without the meth, they have a chance to live their real lives, be themselves. Meth is hard to quit because of how it alters the brain. There is a meth psychosis that lingers, that makes quitting hard. In most people it seems to go away with time. Your guilt and worrying will not help. It does not help him. Only separating does. Because if we do have contact with them we are swept up in it with them, and they lose all respect for even us. That is not good. Now is the time to heal. Please. I hope you post regularly. We are all in this together. COPA [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What is wrong with me?
Top