Okie,
Reading what you are going through and all the sharing and responses, I can relate to most everything being said. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I understand, you are stronger than you think. I never thought I would be able to force my d c to leave. After 7 years of repulsive behavior that only got worse and ongoing verbal, emotional and mental abuse (that took one of the closest people to me, my sis, to get me to admit and/or realize that it was abuse) did I have the courage to stand up and tell my d c that if his behavior continued he would no longer live in our home as of his 18th birthday. That was September 2015. There has been extended periods of no contact and periods of some contact. He will seem okay and in a matter of a couple of hours to a day or so then bam the other side of my d c shows up. It is hard I know and from what I have learned on this site, Al Anon, lots of reading one must take care of oneself. Distance is a good thing and difficult but, I think, necessary for our well being.
Someone recommended reading the detachment article at the top of this forum, I also highly recommend reading this article. I printed it and read and reread all the time. I feel what it says is necessary and will help me survive this dreadful journey, yet still let the hope of a better future for my d c remain.
Our d cs must learn that there are consequences to their actions and that they have to live with those conquences. They must learn that they and only they are responsible for their actions, decisions and how they choose to live.
Keep posting it is a life saving, understanding, loving, caring place to seek and receive support, care, understanding, feedback, advice and love.
HUGE HUGS
Hopeful
