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What is your "criteria" for a difficult child & learner's permit for driving?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 377709" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>For us, the law says a child can apply for a Learner's Permit at age 16 (they have to pass a fitness test as well as a written test on road rules) and must do 120 hours of driving, including 20 hours at night, before they may sit their driving test, minimum age 17. IF they pass they have to display a red P whenever they drive for the next year (I think - they're extending it to 2 years now, I believe) and after the red P, they graduate to a green P for another year (or maybe two). The licence itself is the same colour, so the colour of the licence you show the cops if you get pulled over, or at any other time having to shoe your ID, shows your driving record. After some years of good driving on the standard licence (black) you can earn a higher colour, up to gold. Any traffic infringement, and you lose the higher level licence.</p><p></p><p>All this means that a learner driver has a lot to achieve before they qualify. That is a big comfort to parents like us, who worry about our difficult children' ability to cope with the pressure of driving.</p><p></p><p>What we've found - as difficult child 3 gets more driving experience, he is learning more coping skills. He is learning what to NOT worry about, and what to be alert for. He's also learning more about his own distractibility. For example, when I drive, I often have the radio on or iPod on. But we don't allow it for difficult child 3 unless he's driving under conditions where it won't be a distraction. We've only allowed it very recently at all, under any circumstances. He's driven about 35 hours now (we have to keep a log book, it's the law) and yesterday was the first time I let him listen to his favourite music as we drove. But I only let him listen once we were out of the heavier traffic. Our drive home is mostly an uncomplicated bush road, very light traffic. He was singing along as he drove, but also still able to focus and slow for the corners (some of them are nasty). However, he is realising how distracting it can be. As we came into the village I needed difficult child 3 to angle-park the car and he made no protest as I turned off his favourite music mid-song. He immediately understood. Now, before he began to learn to drive, he would have gotten angry. </p><p></p><p>We wouldn't let difficult child 1 learn to drive at 16. What is more, difficult child 1 said at the time, "I don't think I will ever be able to drive a car, it needs too much being done at the one time and I can't multi-task." However, when he was older he said, "I think I'd like to see if I could," and as he was 21, we let him. We felt he was right in his self-assessment. </p><p></p><p>The main problems are not so much anger management (because learning to drive, with control and support, is teaching difficult child 3 a great deal very fast about anger management) as being able to maintain control of the car and not let anger take over. it's a fine distinction. We're also finding difficult child 3 is learning more about social interaction, as the motivation of other drivers is a useful tool especially when driving in peak hour traffic. For example yesterday, we were in the centre lane of a four-lane road, but the outside lane had parked cars. At the lights the car beside us in the outside lane began to creep forward. difficult child 3 said, "I hate it when they creep forward!" (anger beginning) Then he continued, "But he doesn't want to get stuck behind a learner, plus he's trying to get ahead of me before we get to that parked car. I'll let him go. He won't hold me up."</p><p>When the lights changed, the car beside us surged forward as predicted. difficult child 3 has become a lot more skilled at recognising the likely direction another car will go, based on his observations. It is making him a better driver a he learns the value of anticipating the traffic.</p><p></p><p>What I suggest you do with kt, is first work out which car she would drive (and get the insurance set up accordingly) then work out who would be her instructor. Next, work out where she can learn. Quiet roads or even a farm paddock can teach a great deal. MAny Aussie kids learn to drive long before it's legal, but they never drive on the public roads, merely around the farm paddocks. The first lessons we set up for our kids, are slow driving and manouvering. The kids have to use a manual car to move forward as slowly as they can. Really slow, an inch a minute. Then set up witches hats or rubbish bins in a deserted car park, and have the child practice parking around them or between them. If the car park has marked parking spaces, so much the better. </p><p>Yesterday afternoon as difficult child 3 laboriously parked our enormous people mover in the small village square, a couple of former teachers and parents of former classmates watched with amusement (and, I think, some measure of fellow-feeling for me!). The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) had come to the fore and difficult child 3 was edging back and forth to ensure the car was right in the middle of the space and perfectly parallel to the marked lines on the road.</p><p></p><p>So you can't be sure, before you start, if your child's current problems can't be turned to advantage; or, conversely, if some hitherto masked problem won't turn out to be insurmountable.</p><p></p><p>All you can do is say to the child, "We'll try."</p><p></p><p>husband has really rammed the following point home - "When you are behind the wheel of a car, you are in charge of a lethal weapon. YOU. MUST. Be in control."</p><p>It is a big responsibility.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 377709, member: 1991"] For us, the law says a child can apply for a Learner's Permit at age 16 (they have to pass a fitness test as well as a written test on road rules) and must do 120 hours of driving, including 20 hours at night, before they may sit their driving test, minimum age 17. IF they pass they have to display a red P whenever they drive for the next year (I think - they're extending it to 2 years now, I believe) and after the red P, they graduate to a green P for another year (or maybe two). The licence itself is the same colour, so the colour of the licence you show the cops if you get pulled over, or at any other time having to shoe your ID, shows your driving record. After some years of good driving on the standard licence (black) you can earn a higher colour, up to gold. Any traffic infringement, and you lose the higher level licence. All this means that a learner driver has a lot to achieve before they qualify. That is a big comfort to parents like us, who worry about our difficult children' ability to cope with the pressure of driving. What we've found - as difficult child 3 gets more driving experience, he is learning more coping skills. He is learning what to NOT worry about, and what to be alert for. He's also learning more about his own distractibility. For example, when I drive, I often have the radio on or iPod on. But we don't allow it for difficult child 3 unless he's driving under conditions where it won't be a distraction. We've only allowed it very recently at all, under any circumstances. He's driven about 35 hours now (we have to keep a log book, it's the law) and yesterday was the first time I let him listen to his favourite music as we drove. But I only let him listen once we were out of the heavier traffic. Our drive home is mostly an uncomplicated bush road, very light traffic. He was singing along as he drove, but also still able to focus and slow for the corners (some of them are nasty). However, he is realising how distracting it can be. As we came into the village I needed difficult child 3 to angle-park the car and he made no protest as I turned off his favourite music mid-song. He immediately understood. Now, before he began to learn to drive, he would have gotten angry. We wouldn't let difficult child 1 learn to drive at 16. What is more, difficult child 1 said at the time, "I don't think I will ever be able to drive a car, it needs too much being done at the one time and I can't multi-task." However, when he was older he said, "I think I'd like to see if I could," and as he was 21, we let him. We felt he was right in his self-assessment. The main problems are not so much anger management (because learning to drive, with control and support, is teaching difficult child 3 a great deal very fast about anger management) as being able to maintain control of the car and not let anger take over. it's a fine distinction. We're also finding difficult child 3 is learning more about social interaction, as the motivation of other drivers is a useful tool especially when driving in peak hour traffic. For example yesterday, we were in the centre lane of a four-lane road, but the outside lane had parked cars. At the lights the car beside us in the outside lane began to creep forward. difficult child 3 said, "I hate it when they creep forward!" (anger beginning) Then he continued, "But he doesn't want to get stuck behind a learner, plus he's trying to get ahead of me before we get to that parked car. I'll let him go. He won't hold me up." When the lights changed, the car beside us surged forward as predicted. difficult child 3 has become a lot more skilled at recognising the likely direction another car will go, based on his observations. It is making him a better driver a he learns the value of anticipating the traffic. What I suggest you do with kt, is first work out which car she would drive (and get the insurance set up accordingly) then work out who would be her instructor. Next, work out where she can learn. Quiet roads or even a farm paddock can teach a great deal. MAny Aussie kids learn to drive long before it's legal, but they never drive on the public roads, merely around the farm paddocks. The first lessons we set up for our kids, are slow driving and manouvering. The kids have to use a manual car to move forward as slowly as they can. Really slow, an inch a minute. Then set up witches hats or rubbish bins in a deserted car park, and have the child practice parking around them or between them. If the car park has marked parking spaces, so much the better. Yesterday afternoon as difficult child 3 laboriously parked our enormous people mover in the small village square, a couple of former teachers and parents of former classmates watched with amusement (and, I think, some measure of fellow-feeling for me!). The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) had come to the fore and difficult child 3 was edging back and forth to ensure the car was right in the middle of the space and perfectly parallel to the marked lines on the road. So you can't be sure, before you start, if your child's current problems can't be turned to advantage; or, conversely, if some hitherto masked problem won't turn out to be insurmountable. All you can do is say to the child, "We'll try." husband has really rammed the following point home - "When you are behind the wheel of a car, you are in charge of a lethal weapon. YOU. MUST. Be in control." It is a big responsibility. Marg [/QUOTE]
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