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General Parenting
What should I do? Punishment
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 566607" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I've backed myself into stuff like this too. Now you said it and I can see following through for the sake of her knowing you mean what you say but I'd have no illusion it would solve the problem that started the issue. I mostly plan ahead to reduce the conflicts from happening rather than having to "back down" to avoid conflict (which I bet most of us have done at some point too). So, I now put the basket in his room, if I leave it on the table or where ever, he'd just live out of there. So if he gets to putting it away great. If not, I'm not seeing it. He had to bring his clothes down for me to wash....he wants clean clothes (can't use the machine well yet) so I said I am closed at 10 and if its not down there you can pick out dirty pants to wear. At 9:51 he finally did it. Sigh. </p><p></p><p>What you described about doing it only the teachers way sounds very rigid. That flexibility skill is hard to teach. But working on underlying skills like that can help more than punishing after the fact. But consequences are part of life and I too think natural and logical consequences are usually enough though sometimes I FEEL like I'd feel better if I took everything under the sun way so he got the point that I'm angry...not proud of that and it doesn't work.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 566607, member: 12886"] I've backed myself into stuff like this too. Now you said it and I can see following through for the sake of her knowing you mean what you say but I'd have no illusion it would solve the problem that started the issue. I mostly plan ahead to reduce the conflicts from happening rather than having to "back down" to avoid conflict (which I bet most of us have done at some point too). So, I now put the basket in his room, if I leave it on the table or where ever, he'd just live out of there. So if he gets to putting it away great. If not, I'm not seeing it. He had to bring his clothes down for me to wash....he wants clean clothes (can't use the machine well yet) so I said I am closed at 10 and if its not down there you can pick out dirty pants to wear. At 9:51 he finally did it. Sigh. What you described about doing it only the teachers way sounds very rigid. That flexibility skill is hard to teach. But working on underlying skills like that can help more than punishing after the fact. But consequences are part of life and I too think natural and logical consequences are usually enough though sometimes I FEEL like I'd feel better if I took everything under the sun way so he got the point that I'm angry...not proud of that and it doesn't work. [/QUOTE]
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What should I do? Punishment
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