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What to do when 9 yr old ODD boy escalates to hitting?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 306318" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Hi Cactus, welcome.</p><p> </p><p>My son has no prenatal drug issues but he has escalated to physical violence in the past. I unwittingly provoked him at times simply by not letting up. I thought that if I stood my ground and yelled as loudly as he did, it would help. It didn't. </p><p>Now I stand my ground but I keep my voice well modulated, as he is very sensitive to noise, and he hates it if I yell from another room. Also, I give him physical space, and do not go up and grab his arm, for example. I stay a couple of feet away and make eye contact. If his ears and cheeks turn red and he starts tapping his foot, I know he's escalating and I leave the room, come back in a couple of minutes, and try again.</p><p>You have to learn the signs. Watch his skin color, listen to his breathing, look at his pupils to see whether they are dilated.</p><p>In regard to hitting back, by nine most kids are big enough to inflict a lot of damage, so I would avoid a physical confrontation at all costs. One thing we learned to do was talk about escalation at the therapist's office, and then the next time it happened, my son and I played our new "roles" and boy, it was hard but it helped a lot. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. I even had my son thank me one time. I remember he had me backed up against a wall and I was getting claustrophobic and angry but I stood there and waited for him to finish his verbal tirade and he finally backed away. After he thanked me, I told him that it really bothered me when he got that close and screamed at me and that I didn't know if I could restrain myself again. It was a very good exchange. Again, the more often you can do that, and talk it out, the easier it will become.</p><p> </p><p>If you're in the middle of a kicking, hissing, spitting, flailing Tasmanian devil episode, I would leave the room. Just make sure there's nothing there he can hurt himself with. We kept all of our knives in drawers until about 3 yrs ago. We also had to lock all the closet dowels, baseball bats and stray pcs of wood up in the garage. </p><p> </p><p>I hope that helps!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 306318, member: 3419"] Hi Cactus, welcome. My son has no prenatal drug issues but he has escalated to physical violence in the past. I unwittingly provoked him at times simply by not letting up. I thought that if I stood my ground and yelled as loudly as he did, it would help. It didn't. Now I stand my ground but I keep my voice well modulated, as he is very sensitive to noise, and he hates it if I yell from another room. Also, I give him physical space, and do not go up and grab his arm, for example. I stay a couple of feet away and make eye contact. If his ears and cheeks turn red and he starts tapping his foot, I know he's escalating and I leave the room, come back in a couple of minutes, and try again. You have to learn the signs. Watch his skin color, listen to his breathing, look at his pupils to see whether they are dilated. In regard to hitting back, by nine most kids are big enough to inflict a lot of damage, so I would avoid a physical confrontation at all costs. One thing we learned to do was talk about escalation at the therapist's office, and then the next time it happened, my son and I played our new "roles" and boy, it was hard but it helped a lot. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. I even had my son thank me one time. I remember he had me backed up against a wall and I was getting claustrophobic and angry but I stood there and waited for him to finish his verbal tirade and he finally backed away. After he thanked me, I told him that it really bothered me when he got that close and screamed at me and that I didn't know if I could restrain myself again. It was a very good exchange. Again, the more often you can do that, and talk it out, the easier it will become. If you're in the middle of a kicking, hissing, spitting, flailing Tasmanian devil episode, I would leave the room. Just make sure there's nothing there he can hurt himself with. We kept all of our knives in drawers until about 3 yrs ago. We also had to lock all the closet dowels, baseball bats and stray pcs of wood up in the garage. I hope that helps! [/QUOTE]
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