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what to do when you're a prisoner in your own home?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 286731" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>First of all, Welcome! I am so glad you found us and truly sorry you need us. You are an amazing sister. There are a lot of parents who cannot handle what you are handling. </p><p></p><p>military school or wilderness camp or the boot camp type places are not going to help him much. Few of them administer medications, many use fear to make the child compliant, and any changes are very short lived. </p><p></p><p>Is he using drugs? With his behavior I would suspect it. If possible you need to either do a home drug test that you get at the pharmacy or have the doctor do one. I just today learned from my pain doctor that hospitals that do the test in-house have a HUGE rate of false positives. He would not trust any result given in a hospital. He mails them out and the company does the standard identification test but then they do other tests to confirm the different things that show up. I was relieved because our hospital here admitted me with a seizure and thought I was on crystal meth. I have never touched an illegal drug. they used the even MORE reliabel "rapid test" and it is useless. (back on topic - sorry, I get rambly) </p><p></p><p>Until you know he is drug free you will not be able to figure out what is really going on. Substance abuse treatment (including alcohol) can be found if he needs it. </p><p></p><p>Now. ODD. Yup, it is a diagnosis. It will describe exactly what your brother and may other kids are like. Tells you what he is doing. But.</p><p></p><p>ODD as a diagnosis will NOT EVER tell you WHY he is like that. It won't tell you how to help it. It just describes. Many other diagnosis's come with treatment recommendations. I have 3 kids. Each of them has different diagnosis's though at times they have the same actions. The younger two never take them as far as Wiz (my difficult child). But there are times ODD would fit them. The middle school here INSISTED my Jessie was ODD. She missed school. She wasn't paying attention. She always had to go get a drink. Then she had to pee. Then she wanted the nurse. Then she missed school because a migraine. Or because a doctor appointment. </p><p></p><p>She has NEVER had ODD. She wasn't paying attention because she was having seizures every minute or so. They were not visible, just looked like she was daydreaming. She was adjusting to medications for that - hence the dry mouth and restroom breaks. She has migraines and back and knee problems. We are in a small town. Specialists are over 90 minutes away. So she would be gone all day.</p><p></p><p>does that show how ODD doesn't really help? I beleive ODD has been diagnosis'd or suggested for every single difficult child here. You need to find a neuropsychologist. It may take going to a bigger city. They will do 6-12 hours of testing in several sessions. If they are good. NPs who only do 1-2 hours of testing miss a LOT of things. I don't know what state you are in, but you may need to use the online yellow pages or google or your insurance co to find one.</p><p></p><p>i would hazard a guess and bipolar (used to be manic depression). It could be many other things. I am sure grief is a huge part of it. And possibly some kind of abuse. NOT saying that any of your family members would abuse him!!! If he is on the streets overnight when he runs away, or when he was in the military school, or maybe someone he lived near, could be anyone, MIGHT have abused him. It will take a really good therapist to navigate these waters to see if any abuse happened. (Do NOT hand him this as an excuse. Wait and let a therapist get into it with him. You do NOT want to hand him ammunition!!)</p><p></p><p>Above all, keep reading and posting here. You may want to create a Parent Report. There should be a thread on it in the FAQ section. It may be called "Parent Input". It is a format that some moms here worked to create to keep all the many many bits of info we have and know and will get that help describe our difficult child and situation.</p><p></p><p>Calling 911 for transport to a psychiatric hospital is an excellent thing to do. Do not EVER drive while he is raging unless there is another adult in the BACK seat with him. If he is in front he can grab the steering wheel, put his foot on the gas, all sorts of things. If he is in back he could grab YOU or hurt you. He could also jump out. With another adult who can physically handle him, you could prevent those things. MAybe.</p><p></p><p>Be SURE - 100&#37; TOTALLY SURE - that your daughter has a sturdy lock on her bedroom door AND a cell phone to call you if she is around him and he tries to hurt her. If for some reason you are not there, then she could run outside and hide to call for help if she needs it. </p><p></p><p>You may need to file a child in need of services petition with the court (CHINS). You also need to call the behavioral health number on your insurance. If he has medicaid, call them. Surprisingly when we had medicaid for the kids while husband was in grad school they got us a bed at a long term hospital in 4 days. It wasn't the fanciest of places, but they sure did a good job. He was there for 4 months and we dealt with a whole ton of stuff.</p><p></p><p>You can get alarms to put on the outside of his door, or on the inside of your daughter's door so that she can turn it off to go use the restroom. Use them at night (or your daughter's whenever she is in her room). If the door is opened it will shriek and everyone will hear it. They are around ten or twenty dollars for a set of several.</p><p></p><p>i will write another book tomorrow. Feel free to not take anything I suggest, on this post or any post. Only take what works for you and your family. We support you no matter what!</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your entire family!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 286731, member: 1233"] First of all, Welcome! I am so glad you found us and truly sorry you need us. You are an amazing sister. There are a lot of parents who cannot handle what you are handling. military school or wilderness camp or the boot camp type places are not going to help him much. Few of them administer medications, many use fear to make the child compliant, and any changes are very short lived. Is he using drugs? With his behavior I would suspect it. If possible you need to either do a home drug test that you get at the pharmacy or have the doctor do one. I just today learned from my pain doctor that hospitals that do the test in-house have a HUGE rate of false positives. He would not trust any result given in a hospital. He mails them out and the company does the standard identification test but then they do other tests to confirm the different things that show up. I was relieved because our hospital here admitted me with a seizure and thought I was on crystal meth. I have never touched an illegal drug. they used the even MORE reliabel "rapid test" and it is useless. (back on topic - sorry, I get rambly) Until you know he is drug free you will not be able to figure out what is really going on. Substance abuse treatment (including alcohol) can be found if he needs it. Now. ODD. Yup, it is a diagnosis. It will describe exactly what your brother and may other kids are like. Tells you what he is doing. But. ODD as a diagnosis will NOT EVER tell you WHY he is like that. It won't tell you how to help it. It just describes. Many other diagnosis's come with treatment recommendations. I have 3 kids. Each of them has different diagnosis's though at times they have the same actions. The younger two never take them as far as Wiz (my difficult child). But there are times ODD would fit them. The middle school here INSISTED my Jessie was ODD. She missed school. She wasn't paying attention. She always had to go get a drink. Then she had to pee. Then she wanted the nurse. Then she missed school because a migraine. Or because a doctor appointment. She has NEVER had ODD. She wasn't paying attention because she was having seizures every minute or so. They were not visible, just looked like she was daydreaming. She was adjusting to medications for that - hence the dry mouth and restroom breaks. She has migraines and back and knee problems. We are in a small town. Specialists are over 90 minutes away. So she would be gone all day. does that show how ODD doesn't really help? I beleive ODD has been diagnosis'd or suggested for every single difficult child here. You need to find a neuropsychologist. It may take going to a bigger city. They will do 6-12 hours of testing in several sessions. If they are good. NPs who only do 1-2 hours of testing miss a LOT of things. I don't know what state you are in, but you may need to use the online yellow pages or google or your insurance co to find one. i would hazard a guess and bipolar (used to be manic depression). It could be many other things. I am sure grief is a huge part of it. And possibly some kind of abuse. NOT saying that any of your family members would abuse him!!! If he is on the streets overnight when he runs away, or when he was in the military school, or maybe someone he lived near, could be anyone, MIGHT have abused him. It will take a really good therapist to navigate these waters to see if any abuse happened. (Do NOT hand him this as an excuse. Wait and let a therapist get into it with him. You do NOT want to hand him ammunition!!) Above all, keep reading and posting here. You may want to create a Parent Report. There should be a thread on it in the FAQ section. It may be called "Parent Input". It is a format that some moms here worked to create to keep all the many many bits of info we have and know and will get that help describe our difficult child and situation. Calling 911 for transport to a psychiatric hospital is an excellent thing to do. Do not EVER drive while he is raging unless there is another adult in the BACK seat with him. If he is in front he can grab the steering wheel, put his foot on the gas, all sorts of things. If he is in back he could grab YOU or hurt you. He could also jump out. With another adult who can physically handle him, you could prevent those things. MAybe. Be SURE - 100% TOTALLY SURE - that your daughter has a sturdy lock on her bedroom door AND a cell phone to call you if she is around him and he tries to hurt her. If for some reason you are not there, then she could run outside and hide to call for help if she needs it. You may need to file a child in need of services petition with the court (CHINS). You also need to call the behavioral health number on your insurance. If he has medicaid, call them. Surprisingly when we had medicaid for the kids while husband was in grad school they got us a bed at a long term hospital in 4 days. It wasn't the fanciest of places, but they sure did a good job. He was there for 4 months and we dealt with a whole ton of stuff. You can get alarms to put on the outside of his door, or on the inside of your daughter's door so that she can turn it off to go use the restroom. Use them at night (or your daughter's whenever she is in her room). If the door is opened it will shriek and everyone will hear it. They are around ten or twenty dollars for a set of several. i will write another book tomorrow. Feel free to not take anything I suggest, on this post or any post. Only take what works for you and your family. We support you no matter what! Hugs for your entire family! [/QUOTE]
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