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What works for your oppositional & defiant child?
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<blockquote data-quote="TiredSoul" data-source="post: 162169" data-attributes="member: 3930"><p>Thank you everyone for your posts and ideas. I hope I answered/commented on everything...</p><p></p><p>MWM,</p><p>1/ Clinical psychiatric</p><p>2/ no neuropsychologist evaluation</p><p>3/ alcoholism on mothers side (a bit up the family tree, no direct connection)</p><p>4/ Great early speech, excellent gross motor skills, ok fine motor, imaginary play normal, eye contact sometimes off, actually it is usually off " even when taking pictures of him and telling him to look at camera and smile " he looks elsewhere and smiles almost every time.</p><p></p><p>KTM, I agree with what you said. I usually don't make it painful enough and get over things pretty quickly.</p><p></p><p>Adrianne,</p><p>I think the longer time may work better for us too. I think I have avoided using each time he asks to do something as an opportunity to let the lesson sink in in order to avoid a meltdown. He is like a ticking time bomb and we have pacified him a lot over the past years and now he is used to it. Argggh.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Nancy,</p><p>I could not have written this better:</p><p>"I believe we were a poor fit for our difficult child, our temperments are completely different, our values are different, our personalities are different, we don't have the same outlook on life or work or play or rules or anything."</p><p></p><p>Giving him choices has eliminated melt downs on one hand, but you are right " now he thinks he has a choice about everything. He had pink eye and had to have eye drops " he didn't have a choice and that was a MAJOR BATTLE.</p><p></p><p>Getting him to eat is a battle too. The more I try, the worse it gets. I should remove all the sugar " I swear he would never eat at all then. He is addicted to sugar. The stims have made his appetite worse and he is really skinny now. His pants and swim shorts are beginning to fall off " I have had to cinch them up quite a bit. I notice he has a very strong smell to his urine too " and have been looking into that and came across ketones. So I will see what I can find out. </p><p></p><p>FOP, </p><p>I have wondered if the girlfriend/CF diet would work but eating is such a battle already. I don't know if would could make it work and I know it's a lot of work.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Pamela,</p><p>That is my fear " that he will stay exactly like this and end up with CD. I know what you mean about others thinking we should not let him get away with things " if they only knew that EVERYTHING is a battle and we have to let some go. It's exhausts me to battle everything.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Tracy,</p><p>Thanks for sharing your poem! I enjoyed it.</p><p></p><p>CM30 & MWM,</p><p>I am confused about his medications because his teacher says it is like night and day for him when he takes them. But at home the ODD behaviors are not touched by it at all and may even be worse as he rebounds.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TiredSoul, post: 162169, member: 3930"] Thank you everyone for your posts and ideas. I hope I answered/commented on everything... MWM, 1/ Clinical psychiatric 2/ no neuropsychologist evaluation 3/ alcoholism on mothers side (a bit up the family tree, no direct connection) 4/ Great early speech, excellent gross motor skills, ok fine motor, imaginary play normal, eye contact sometimes off, actually it is usually off " even when taking pictures of him and telling him to look at camera and smile " he looks elsewhere and smiles almost every time. KTM, I agree with what you said. I usually don't make it painful enough and get over things pretty quickly. Adrianne, I think the longer time may work better for us too. I think I have avoided using each time he asks to do something as an opportunity to let the lesson sink in in order to avoid a meltdown. He is like a ticking time bomb and we have pacified him a lot over the past years and now he is used to it. Argggh. Nancy, I could not have written this better: "I believe we were a poor fit for our difficult child, our temperments are completely different, our values are different, our personalities are different, we don't have the same outlook on life or work or play or rules or anything." Giving him choices has eliminated melt downs on one hand, but you are right " now he thinks he has a choice about everything. He had pink eye and had to have eye drops " he didn't have a choice and that was a MAJOR BATTLE. Getting him to eat is a battle too. The more I try, the worse it gets. I should remove all the sugar " I swear he would never eat at all then. He is addicted to sugar. The stims have made his appetite worse and he is really skinny now. His pants and swim shorts are beginning to fall off " I have had to cinch them up quite a bit. I notice he has a very strong smell to his urine too " and have been looking into that and came across ketones. So I will see what I can find out. FOP, I have wondered if the girlfriend/CF diet would work but eating is such a battle already. I don't know if would could make it work and I know it's a lot of work. Pamela, That is my fear " that he will stay exactly like this and end up with CD. I know what you mean about others thinking we should not let him get away with things " if they only knew that EVERYTHING is a battle and we have to let some go. It's exhausts me to battle everything. Tracy, Thanks for sharing your poem! I enjoyed it. CM30 & MWM, I am confused about his medications because his teacher says it is like night and day for him when he takes them. But at home the ODD behaviors are not touched by it at all and may even be worse as he rebounds. [/QUOTE]
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