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General Parenting
What works for your oppositional & defiant child?
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<blockquote data-quote="cutedimples" data-source="post: 162201" data-attributes="member: 5375"><p>Hi Jules, I wanted to tell you about the single counseling session we took difficult child to a few weeks ago. The counselor strongly recommended 123 Magic so I'm not sure how much of his advice to take (especially after reading some of the posts reagrding that book LOL!) but he did offer me a couple gems that have been working well for us. </p><p>We have a "treasure chest", decorated by difficult child, full of inexpensive prizes (single pokemon cards, quarters, "points", etc) and every time I can find a reason to give him some positive feedback/praise (even if it's just to thank him for responding immediately when we ask him to do something) he gets to choose a prize from the treasure chest. I know there are those reading this who don't advocate giving rewards like this, but it works for me. The points I mentioned are like currency toward whatever he is trying to earn at the time, at a pre determined point value.</p><p>Secondly, the counselor (I'm not up on all the abbreviations yet <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/sheepish.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sheepish:" title="sheepish :sheepish:" data-shortname=":sheepish:" />) suggested coming up with a list of 4 or 5 ways for difficult child to react when he gets angry, instead of losing it. Count to 20, jump on the tramp, etc). This list gets laminated and posted around the house so that difficult child reads it often. Practise when difficult child's in a good mood. I actually did this one for myself as well since I tend to react too quickly.</p><p>Hope something I've said strikes a cord with you. Good luck and keep smiling sweetie. You're not alone in this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cutedimples, post: 162201, member: 5375"] Hi Jules, I wanted to tell you about the single counseling session we took difficult child to a few weeks ago. The counselor strongly recommended 123 Magic so I'm not sure how much of his advice to take (especially after reading some of the posts reagrding that book LOL!) but he did offer me a couple gems that have been working well for us. We have a "treasure chest", decorated by difficult child, full of inexpensive prizes (single pokemon cards, quarters, "points", etc) and every time I can find a reason to give him some positive feedback/praise (even if it's just to thank him for responding immediately when we ask him to do something) he gets to choose a prize from the treasure chest. I know there are those reading this who don't advocate giving rewards like this, but it works for me. The points I mentioned are like currency toward whatever he is trying to earn at the time, at a pre determined point value. Secondly, the counselor (I'm not up on all the abbreviations yet :sheepish:) suggested coming up with a list of 4 or 5 ways for difficult child to react when he gets angry, instead of losing it. Count to 20, jump on the tramp, etc). This list gets laminated and posted around the house so that difficult child reads it often. Practise when difficult child's in a good mood. I actually did this one for myself as well since I tend to react too quickly. Hope something I've said strikes a cord with you. Good luck and keep smiling sweetie. You're not alone in this. [/QUOTE]
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