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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 539883"><p>Hound, I wholeheartedly agree with you......in most cases. I guess what I didn't voice enough about the dilemma part is that difficult child 1 has SUCH a hard time letting people in and then when they leave (we even went through this with 2 Occupational Therapist (OT)'s) he crashes and burns. His behavior escalates and gets to the point that he "tests" me constantly with behavior to make sure I'm not going to leave hi too. He's actually even come right out and asked me that many times. He yells it at me when he's having a meltdown, "I don't care, you're just going to leave me too anyway!"</p><p></p><p>Yes, I am angry at him but not just about the child support or even that he abandoned me more than once. My concern is for difficult child 1 and what it will do to him. We finally have him in a good place and I don't know that I'm willing to play that game again. X has always been selfish. EVERYTHING he does revolves around what he wants. What I found out later is that when he came to town and didn't see us but got this other dad to take him to the school is that he TOLD this other dad that he didn't like it that my sister was here when he came to visit HIS kids. Everything has always had to be on his terms. My guess is that the guilt is getting to him, finally, but if things don't go the way HE wants, he will "leave" again and it will all be MY fault for whatever he doesn't like.</p><p></p><p>It's basically satisfy my curiosity and <em>maybe</em> (depending on what X even wants) risk difficult child 1's emotional stability or leave it alone until difficult child 1 decides HE wants to look him up?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 539883"] Hound, I wholeheartedly agree with you......in most cases. I guess what I didn't voice enough about the dilemma part is that difficult child 1 has SUCH a hard time letting people in and then when they leave (we even went through this with 2 Occupational Therapist (OT)'s) he crashes and burns. His behavior escalates and gets to the point that he "tests" me constantly with behavior to make sure I'm not going to leave hi too. He's actually even come right out and asked me that many times. He yells it at me when he's having a meltdown, "I don't care, you're just going to leave me too anyway!" Yes, I am angry at him but not just about the child support or even that he abandoned me more than once. My concern is for difficult child 1 and what it will do to him. We finally have him in a good place and I don't know that I'm willing to play that game again. X has always been selfish. EVERYTHING he does revolves around what he wants. What I found out later is that when he came to town and didn't see us but got this other dad to take him to the school is that he TOLD this other dad that he didn't like it that my sister was here when he came to visit HIS kids. Everything has always had to be on his terms. My guess is that the guilt is getting to him, finally, but if things don't go the way HE wants, he will "leave" again and it will all be MY fault for whatever he doesn't like. It's basically satisfy my curiosity and [I]maybe[/I] (depending on what X even wants) risk difficult child 1's emotional stability or leave it alone until difficult child 1 decides HE wants to look him up? [/QUOTE]
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