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What would YOU do?
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<blockquote data-quote="muttmeister" data-source="post: 539902" data-attributes="member: 135"><p>I, too, like the idea of having the lawyer call.</p><p></p><p>Given the abandonment issues and all of the other stuff, I can see your wanting to be cautious and if it were only you involved you'd tell he to drop dead and stay that way. However, kids see things differently. Even if you choose not to have him involved with the kids right now (and I believe it is your choice), I'd leave the door open to communication. I can forsee a time in the future when they are older that they may have contact and if the sperm donor says he was not allowed to have contact even though he wanted to, that could open a whole other can of worms. With his psychiatric issues it could be that he is getting medicated and straightening out or it could be that he is crazy as a bedbug and just wants to cause trouble. </p><p></p><p>You could explain all this to a lawyer and have him contact the guy and see if he can get a feel for what's going on. I too, believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and if he really wants to step up to the plate at this late date, good for him but that doesn't mean you have to throw caution to the wind and capitulate to everything he wants. If he is truly concerned about the kids, it should not be too hard for him to understand your concerns, provided they are explained in a non-confrontational manner.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully, this can be worked out to the benefit of everybody.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="muttmeister, post: 539902, member: 135"] I, too, like the idea of having the lawyer call. Given the abandonment issues and all of the other stuff, I can see your wanting to be cautious and if it were only you involved you'd tell he to drop dead and stay that way. However, kids see things differently. Even if you choose not to have him involved with the kids right now (and I believe it is your choice), I'd leave the door open to communication. I can forsee a time in the future when they are older that they may have contact and if the sperm donor says he was not allowed to have contact even though he wanted to, that could open a whole other can of worms. With his psychiatric issues it could be that he is getting medicated and straightening out or it could be that he is crazy as a bedbug and just wants to cause trouble. You could explain all this to a lawyer and have him contact the guy and see if he can get a feel for what's going on. I too, believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and if he really wants to step up to the plate at this late date, good for him but that doesn't mean you have to throw caution to the wind and capitulate to everything he wants. If he is truly concerned about the kids, it should not be too hard for him to understand your concerns, provided they are explained in a non-confrontational manner. Hopefully, this can be worked out to the benefit of everybody. [/QUOTE]
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