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What you need to know if a loved one dies?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 236801" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>The first time SO had gotten so ill, and was on life support I was abruptly made aware that as far as discussing any medical issues, how he really was, what needed to be done, I was not considered to be anything cept the "girlfriend". The doctors and nurses would only speak to his mother, who in turn would call me crying, saying she didn't know what to do, or what to authorize, and would I help. At that time, never being around anyone that had more than the flue, I had no clue to any of this.</p><p> </p><p>He has whats called an Advanced Care Directive now, which gives me Medical Power of Attorney, which is on file with the hospital and a copy kept in the truck. It also has provisions for organ donation - My drivers license has a mark that would let them know I have authorized organ donation - its filed with the State- SO had a problem with that part of it - he doesn't believe in it - not for any moral reasons, but only the fact what if he is not really dead. There was a case here of a young man who was in a coma, declared brain dead, and came to in the operating room when they were going to harvest and that only reinforced his belief.</p><p> </p><p>I have an Advance Directive for myself that isn't all the way filled out - He is first on mine to make any medical decisions, but I don't have a back up person- both boys have already told me they will refuse to "pull the plug" if it comes to that - they do not want to be burdened with that decision..sigh..</p><p> </p><p>I have a folder in my office for Jamie - It has all of the life insurance information, medical insurance information and one other thing - PASSWORDS to all of my on-line accounts. Will isn't done yet - I have one hand written out - I am planning to put the house in the name of a Living Trust first, with me as Primary Trustee and Jamie next. He is the only one that would do the right thing -I wouldn't trust the Eldest as far as I could throw her, and as far as difficult child he has always resided in the land of bad decision making. </p><p> </p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 236801, member: 47"] The first time SO had gotten so ill, and was on life support I was abruptly made aware that as far as discussing any medical issues, how he really was, what needed to be done, I was not considered to be anything cept the "girlfriend". The doctors and nurses would only speak to his mother, who in turn would call me crying, saying she didn't know what to do, or what to authorize, and would I help. At that time, never being around anyone that had more than the flue, I had no clue to any of this. He has whats called an Advanced Care Directive now, which gives me Medical Power of Attorney, which is on file with the hospital and a copy kept in the truck. It also has provisions for organ donation - My drivers license has a mark that would let them know I have authorized organ donation - its filed with the State- SO had a problem with that part of it - he doesn't believe in it - not for any moral reasons, but only the fact what if he is not really dead. There was a case here of a young man who was in a coma, declared brain dead, and came to in the operating room when they were going to harvest and that only reinforced his belief. I have an Advance Directive for myself that isn't all the way filled out - He is first on mine to make any medical decisions, but I don't have a back up person- both boys have already told me they will refuse to "pull the plug" if it comes to that - they do not want to be burdened with that decision..sigh.. I have a folder in my office for Jamie - It has all of the life insurance information, medical insurance information and one other thing - PASSWORDS to all of my on-line accounts. Will isn't done yet - I have one hand written out - I am planning to put the house in the name of a Living Trust first, with me as Primary Trustee and Jamie next. He is the only one that would do the right thing -I wouldn't trust the Eldest as far as I could throw her, and as far as difficult child he has always resided in the land of bad decision making. Marcie [/QUOTE]
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