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What'st the long term?
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 63054" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Just wanted to pipe in, and say that I was married, briefly, to a man that thought he could handle my son. He and I loved each other, and my son and him got along very well in the beginning - but............ once we got married everything changed. My son resented his authority, and my ex became extremely resentful and hostile of my son and his actions. He sounded a lot like you in your posts. "When will difficult child be better?" Will he be moving out at 18?" "I have never had a child treat me this way - you have to do something."</p><p></p><p>Consequently my son's illness went from a 4 to a 10 in the matter of 6 months. My whole life became worse than I could have ever imagined. My ex was constantly upset, disappointed, and mad - and my son fed off of that. In the course of 3 years my marriage broke up, my son was hospitalized twice, and I was on the verge of losing my sanity. It was the worst decision I have ever made, for me, or my son - and I am sure ex would agree. Had we stayed dating - we would still be together..........I know that for a fact.</p><p></p><p>I can already hear your doubt in your posts - and truthfully, in my opinion, that doubt will turn into anger if you take on the responsibility of raising him as your own. It will just be too much. And truthfully, as harsh as this sounds, and of course this is only my opinion - as much as you love this woman - you will be making her life and this boy's life more difficult by inserting yourself into the middle of an already volatile situation. </p><p></p><p>Just had to share my own experiences - please feel free to take or leave it - and good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 63054, member: 3301"] Just wanted to pipe in, and say that I was married, briefly, to a man that thought he could handle my son. He and I loved each other, and my son and him got along very well in the beginning - but............ once we got married everything changed. My son resented his authority, and my ex became extremely resentful and hostile of my son and his actions. He sounded a lot like you in your posts. "When will difficult child be better?" Will he be moving out at 18?" "I have never had a child treat me this way - you have to do something." Consequently my son's illness went from a 4 to a 10 in the matter of 6 months. My whole life became worse than I could have ever imagined. My ex was constantly upset, disappointed, and mad - and my son fed off of that. In the course of 3 years my marriage broke up, my son was hospitalized twice, and I was on the verge of losing my sanity. It was the worst decision I have ever made, for me, or my son - and I am sure ex would agree. Had we stayed dating - we would still be together..........I know that for a fact. I can already hear your doubt in your posts - and truthfully, in my opinion, that doubt will turn into anger if you take on the responsibility of raising him as your own. It will just be too much. And truthfully, as harsh as this sounds, and of course this is only my opinion - as much as you love this woman - you will be making her life and this boy's life more difficult by inserting yourself into the middle of an already volatile situation. Just had to share my own experiences - please feel free to take or leave it - and good luck. [/QUOTE]
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