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General Parenting
When a difficult child changes, is it just random?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 41656" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Yes, I've thought about it a lot. My son's life (and mine) turned into a nightmare last winter. He was then diagnosis's with depression and disruptive conduct disorder. when i reached a point of calling social services because i could not take anymore and thought someone else could do a better job (i had exhausted all options i knew of), coincidentally or not, i started seeing changes in my difficult child. he also had been put on prozac. he did not become a easy child but he was much more like his old self and was back in control. so, he did not leave home and i left him on the prozac because i couldn't be sure if that had something to do with it- lord knows it wasn't any of the counselors we tried. it was fairly good for about 8 mos., then, the school didn't think it was good enough and he started feeling some other pressures. doctor increased prozac dosage; a few weeks later, difficult child goes on crime spree and gets self in big trouble and is out of control again. doctor says he could be bipolar and changes from prozac to mood stabilizer. </p><p>i think the decision to help himself, accept other help, and make an effort to do the best he can is in his control in a way. i don't think he knows constructive ways of dealing with bad feelings(perceived rejection, failure, unhappiness) and this contributes to completely giving up. in my difficult child's own words- after he tried and tried, it wasn't good enough so why try anymore. now, of course, i'm trying to help him turn that back around, which is harder because he's in SOOOOO much trouble. when depression has set in, it is very difficult to believe that all that help and effort is worth it. i, too, have felt many times that the "you are going to live somewhere else until you are ready to do what you're supposed to" is the answer, until i think about whether or not the "somewhere else" could provide a miracle and i, so far, have concluded that him living somewhere else might bring some peace to my house but would not "cure" him. if it's painful enough to get him to be motivated to turn things around so he can come back home, is it causing more long-term damage in other ways? i don't know- i'm still battling this. </p><p>one hope- the psychiatrist told me sometimes adolesccents just "grow out" of this and it goes away as mysteriously as it starts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 41656, member: 3699"] Yes, I've thought about it a lot. My son's life (and mine) turned into a nightmare last winter. He was then diagnosis's with depression and disruptive conduct disorder. when i reached a point of calling social services because i could not take anymore and thought someone else could do a better job (i had exhausted all options i knew of), coincidentally or not, i started seeing changes in my difficult child. he also had been put on prozac. he did not become a easy child but he was much more like his old self and was back in control. so, he did not leave home and i left him on the prozac because i couldn't be sure if that had something to do with it- lord knows it wasn't any of the counselors we tried. it was fairly good for about 8 mos., then, the school didn't think it was good enough and he started feeling some other pressures. doctor increased prozac dosage; a few weeks later, difficult child goes on crime spree and gets self in big trouble and is out of control again. doctor says he could be bipolar and changes from prozac to mood stabilizer. i think the decision to help himself, accept other help, and make an effort to do the best he can is in his control in a way. i don't think he knows constructive ways of dealing with bad feelings(perceived rejection, failure, unhappiness) and this contributes to completely giving up. in my difficult child's own words- after he tried and tried, it wasn't good enough so why try anymore. now, of course, i'm trying to help him turn that back around, which is harder because he's in SOOOOO much trouble. when depression has set in, it is very difficult to believe that all that help and effort is worth it. i, too, have felt many times that the "you are going to live somewhere else until you are ready to do what you're supposed to" is the answer, until i think about whether or not the "somewhere else" could provide a miracle and i, so far, have concluded that him living somewhere else might bring some peace to my house but would not "cure" him. if it's painful enough to get him to be motivated to turn things around so he can come back home, is it causing more long-term damage in other ways? i don't know- i'm still battling this. one hope- the psychiatrist told me sometimes adolesccents just "grow out" of this and it goes away as mysteriously as it starts. [/QUOTE]
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When a difficult child changes, is it just random?
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