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The Watercooler
When a Parent's "I love you" means "Do as I say"
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 306364" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Good topic Susie!</p><p> </p><p>I'm on the line I think on this one. My kids know my love is unconditional. But I can't say I'm especially inclined to hug a kid that has spent the day making my life miserable on purpose either. lol And having lived with 2 difficult children......there were days like that.</p><p> </p><p>I gave praise when the situation called for it. I didn't smother them with it. I loath unearned praise....I"ve heard parents praise the stupidest actions as if their child had climbed a huge mountain, clearly over doing it. But I looked for the good in my kids and praised it. There was also a strong dose of dicipline to go along with it. That balance needs to be there in my opinion.</p><p> </p><p>As far as emotional reactions to my kids behaviors......I rarely raised my voice or spoke in anger. I taught myself this early on because my Mom was a screamer and would yell the most vile things at us. I learned what was appropriate behavior per age....and took that into account when dealing with behavior. </p><p> </p><p>But Travis, the boy who had Trouble stamped on his forhead, can tell you that for the most part he got just as much affection as did his sisters, including easy child who almost never got into trouble. I had to make a more concious effort to make that happen though.</p><p> </p><p>I may respond more to this later. I'm still on my 1st cup of coffee. LOL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 306364, member: 84"] Good topic Susie! I'm on the line I think on this one. My kids know my love is unconditional. But I can't say I'm especially inclined to hug a kid that has spent the day making my life miserable on purpose either. lol And having lived with 2 difficult children......there were days like that. I gave praise when the situation called for it. I didn't smother them with it. I loath unearned praise....I"ve heard parents praise the stupidest actions as if their child had climbed a huge mountain, clearly over doing it. But I looked for the good in my kids and praised it. There was also a strong dose of dicipline to go along with it. That balance needs to be there in my opinion. As far as emotional reactions to my kids behaviors......I rarely raised my voice or spoke in anger. I taught myself this early on because my Mom was a screamer and would yell the most vile things at us. I learned what was appropriate behavior per age....and took that into account when dealing with behavior. But Travis, the boy who had Trouble stamped on his forhead, can tell you that for the most part he got just as much affection as did his sisters, including easy child who almost never got into trouble. I had to make a more concious effort to make that happen though. I may respond more to this later. I'm still on my 1st cup of coffee. LOL [/QUOTE]
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When a Parent's "I love you" means "Do as I say"
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